Happy Howloween!



Trick or Treat!  Got any pizza?



Home Alone

For most of the 25 years of my married life my husband has traveled...a lot.  Because a lot of his traveling has been halfway around the world, he would often be gone for 2 weeks at a time just to maximize his time there.  My mother, projecting her own feelings on me, would often try to commiserate with me over my loneliness but, as I always told her, I was never lonely.

As an introvert I get my energy recharged from being alone so I have to admit that I kind of looked forward to the trips.  I really need to have time by myself or I become exhausted and overwhelmed.  I love being in the house by myself, being in charge of my own schedule, eating whatever and whenever I want.  I like watching sappy movies at night without someone making comments or rolling his eyes whenever someone on screen bursts out into song.  I really am a loner at heart and although I do enjoy being part of a pair, I need my space, man!

Besides, I was never really alone...before.

You see, that's the secret of how to be a loner without turning into a hermit - get a dog.  Whenever T was on one of his trips, I had the best company in the world to keep me from getting lonely.  When I ate junk food, Jasper was there to save me from eating too much.  When I burst into song along with the sappy movie, Jasper was there to howl in sympathy.  When I wanted to run out to the store at 2 in the afternoon just to get out of the house, Jasper was either ready to come along or waiting to joyfully welcome me back home.  Who could be lonely with the perfect companion around?

So, as the time got closer for T to take his first trip since July I wondered how I would do, being really and truly on my own for the first time.  I admit I haven't done so well when T has been gone for day trips the past couple of months so I figured I'd really lose it when the first overnight trip came along.

Surprisingly, I'm 3 days into it and still doing fine.  I really figured I'd spend the whole first day in tears, letting out all the feelings I keep bottled up (as much as possible) when I'm not alone.  I also figured the first night I walked down the hall by myself would be awful and that I'd toss and turn all night but that hasn't been the case at all.  In fact, I think I've slept better this week than I have in 3 months. 

One fun thing about being home alone is that I can leave my shoes wherever I want.  I haven't been able to leave shoes out for 15 years.  Jasper was an excellent retriever and he loved to nose around our bedroom to find things to bring to me.  He especially loved bringing out shoes so they always had to be locked behind a closet door or else I'd end up with a big pile of shoes in the living room.  Actually, come to think of it, this week I'm creating my own pile of shoes in the living room all by myself.  I'd like to think it's an homage to Jasper but I suspect it's just because I'm too lazy to put things away.

Saturday Stuff - Thank you!

Yeah, yeah, I know it's not Saturday.  I'm a little behind but I didn't want to wait till next week to give a big, public thank you to my friend Laura!

A couple of weeks ago I received a little package in the mail from Michigan.  You'll never guess what it was - an apron!  Now I have an official collection, I'm so thrilled.  And this isn't just any apron, it's a PARTY apron! 

Aprons are really hot right now, I've been seeing them in the stores all over town and my favorites are the little half aprons that you would wear if you were having a dinner party in your home.  You know the type, they only cover the bottom half of you and they look too pretty to ever want to spill anything on them.  They're usually frilly and girly and I love them and now I have one of my very own!

It's sheer pale pinky lilac with white rick-rack all around the edges, even around the cute little pocket. It makes me want to throw a dinner party right away.

Laura is a dear friend that I met through our mutual interest in Laura Ingalls Wilder.  She and her husband, Jim, live in Michigan and make the best maple syrup every year.  We were lucky enough to share a dorm suite at Laurapalooza last year and are looking forward to hanging out in Minnesota again next year.  I wish she lived closer, I think we'd have a lot of fun running around town together.

Be sure to read her blog, A Simple Happy Life.  Her dog, Duke, posts on Saturdays and he's had lots of adventures.

Thank you Laura, your sweet gift made my summer.

Saturday Stuff: Chuck It!





I throw like a girl.

 

Actually, that's insulting to girls.

 

I throw badly.  I used to take Jasper out in the backyard and try to throw the tennis ball.  Ever the optimist, he would stand on the far side of the yard and wait for the ball to come hurtling towards him, ready to catch it.  You can only imagine the mixed pity and disgust on his face when I would let go of the ball and it would fall mere inches from my own feet.  No wonder he would head back to the house after only a few attempts.

 

Then I found The Chuck It and it changed everything; it's like having a bionic arm!  Suddenly I could throw and the ball goes FAR.  The first few times it went further than Jasper could anticipate so he had to go running into the trees.  His look of surprise was everything I could have hoped for.

 

Not only did the Chuck It revolutionize our games of fetch, I never had to touch a slimy tennis ball again.  That alone was worth the purchase price.  It's a good value too, we used ours for many years including several fetch sessions just earlier this year.   If you love a dog, you need one of these!

correction

I stand corrected - I do not just have 1 reader, I think I have at least 3 and their names are  Laurie, Laura and Lauri.  And my favorite author is Laura Ingalls Wilder.  Coincidence or not?

I just need to find a Lori and I'll be all set.

New Beginnings

Well hello!  Here it is, September 1st already.  Bet you were wondering where I disappeared in the last half of August, didn't you?  Actually, you probably didn't since I think only 1 person is still reading this blog...hi Laurie!

I had to take a little break from writing because I was having trouble maintaining a sunny outlook.  They say there are 5 stages of grief:

1.  Denial & Isolation
2.  Anger
3.  Bargaining
4.  Depression
5.  Acceptance

I've not really experienced bargaining (what the heck would I bargain for, it's not like the situation is going to change.) but I think I'm going through numbers 1, 2 and 4 simultaneously.  Or at least I bounce from one to the other on any given day.

I've truly never experienced anything like this.  I've never been so sad for so long.  I've lost dogs before and I've lost people that I loved dearly before and yet this experience is knocking all the wind out of my sails like NEVER before.  Not that you'd know if you saw me in person, I'm good at hiding my feelings.  My own mother hasn't even noticed that anything is wrong with me...but maybe that's not the best example. ;-)

It's been almost 2 months now and last week I really believed I was sailing into the harbor of acceptance.  I finally stopped crying every single day and I was starting to look forward to future plans.  I suppose it helped a lot that another situation in our lives looked like it was finally going to change.  This week, however, the situation still hasn't been resolved and I'm slipping back out to sea.

I think I'll stop wallowing, however, and not post about it anymore.  I'm usually a stiff upper lip sort, not the kind to moan to others about my difficulties and I find I'm annoying even myself.  I wouldn't want to do that to my readers Laurie.  September has always been about new beginnings for me and I'm ready to make one.  September is going to be a happy posting month...after today, of course.  It's not like I've been sitting around staring at the walls for the last few weeks.  I've traveled, learned how to make preserves and spent time exploring new places and I've got pictures to share so watch this space!

Saturday Stuff - Victorian Trading Company

As I mentioned yesterday, I was obsessed for a while with Avonlea, a show set during the Victorian period.  But I must confess that I wasn't only obsessed with the TV show, I was obsessed with the whole Victorian period.  I loved the clothes, hair, music and decorating style...especially the decorating style. 

It wasn't just me, there was a whole Victorian revival in the '80s and '90s so there were a lot of stores and catalogs that acted as enablers for my Victorian habit.  I even found the perfect nouveau Victorian white wicker sofas and chairs to create the perfect Victorian living room on a budget.

One of these catalog companies still entices me from time to time even though my Victorian obsession has passed, although the wicker remains.  They have some truly lovely merchandise, so romantic, whimsical and just plain unique.  I'm getting this pair of boots even though I'm not sure I'd ever wear them in public.



aren't they beautiful?!

 
Meet the Victorian Trading Company - enjoy!