Yesterday was the last day of my Quest for the Coasters and I am happy to say that I completed the challenge!
I went mostly in the evenings but yesterday I was at the park by rope drop at 9am.
I had breakfast at the same place Taz and I ate a year ago. They have added french toast to the eggs, sausage, bacon and potatoes. I thought it was an unnecessary addition but darned if I didn't eat all of it.
Thus fortified, I was off to stand in the long line to get my coasters...except there wasn't much of a line. It was horrendous last year but this year I walked up, got my magic band scanned and was handed a little lavender box with the coasters. Easy peasy.
They are very cute and go perfectly with last year's cutting board. I will display one and actually use the rest. They come in a cute wooden tray.
As you may have guessed from reading my last couple of blogs, going to Epcot alone for this challenge was getting increasingly sad for me. I was feeling very lonely so I was very glad that my kids (and their parents) were going to be able to join me on this last day. I ended up spending almost 12 hours at the park yesterday. We rode pretty much every ride that the park has to offer and did a scavenger hunt in each of the "countries" of the World Showcase.
It was the perfect antidote to the loneliness I'd been feeling. Who can be lonely when you have amazing kids right there to hold your hand and sit next to you on each ride?
But today is a new day and it looks like we'll be getting some tropical storm effects starting tonight going through Wednesday so it's time for me to bring in all the outdoor furniture and finally take care of those stray branches. I still haven't figured out how to get the garage door open so the car is just going to be on its own out there.
I found out yesterday that all my friends will be riding out the storm at the Disney hotels. I know it's not their responsibility to check on what I'll be doing during the storm. I didn't expect anybody to include me in their plans and good thing that I didn't. I'm only human though and I'm still hurting so much and fighting against this new life I've been given so, I'm sorry but I can't help being sad about being alone. It may be unreasonable but that's where I am, just being honest.
So I guess self-sufficiency is the word of the day and the rest of my life. I'll get over feeling sorry for myself, I always do, but right now it's not working so well.
I made one last trip to the store for "essentials." Hey, double stuff Oreos are mostly certainly an essential right now!
Next time I write I'll probably be in the middle of the storm or maybe I'll just wait till it's over. Right now I'm going to get a garbage bag and go try to fit big branches into it.
Confession - I didn't do any of the yard work.
In my defense, it looks like we're not getting a hurricane after all. The darling storm decided to stay out in the ocean as it goes up the coast and, at most, we'll just have tropical storm conditions which isn't that much different than our usual afternoon thunderstorms.
On the other hand, I should probably go ahead and clean up the loose branches just because it needs to be done. Nah, that kind of thinking rarely works with me.
If the projected path of the storm looks worse tomorrow, I will think about getting in the garage, trying to figure out how to get the door open (there's a padlock that Taz put there and I'm not sure where the key is) and I might try to move boxes to one side so that I could squeeze my car in there. Even if I really don't need it for this storm, it wouldn't be a bad idea to have a way to protect the car if another hurricane might come along.
Oh well, I'll think about that tomorrow.
Today, instead of hurricane prep, I swam in the morning. It really was a picture perfect Florida morning here, sun and warm but not too humid. You would never guess there was any sort of storm heading our way.
But then it rained so I went in and cooked myself some lunch and maybe got into some of the hurricane snacks. What? Don't look at me like that, I don't have anybody to set a good example for.
Then I got depressed and cried. I've got to stop doing that. I feel like I've regressed back to where I was at the beginning of the year. So, what do you do when you're feeling blue and unloved? You take a nap.
I woke up feeling refreshed so that meant it was time to head off for Epcot. This would be my 3rd visit - only one more till I get those coasters.
I had hoped to have company for this visit (my kids!) but that didn't work out so I was feeling a little lonely which made every in-love couple out there stand out just a little more. Who knew there were so many coupled up people out there.
The weather was pretty awesome and I was quite hungry so I decided to head over to the World Showcase and try something new. The crowds were a little larger than they had been the previous 2 nights but still not bad.
The closer I got to Brazil, the more I started thinking about the pork belly they always have during the festival. Next to the escargot, this is my favorite offering and pretty soon all thoughts of trying something new just flew out of my head and I found myself lining up and ordering my old favorite. I don't regret it at all, it was absolutely delicious!
Heading on through the World Showcase I started getting a craving for this frozen mango drink in China that Taz and I loved, only to find out that they don't have it anymore. I hate change.
Taz and I used to go to Epcot for exercise. It's approximately 1 mile around the World Showcase so if we walked around once plus the additional steps to and from the parking lot we got our 2 mile walk in. He wasn't that big of a Disney fan but he did love Epcot so I thought of him as I walked around. I especially thought of him when someone would stop walking right in front of me so that I almost bumped into them. Taz hated crowds and that probably would have set him off. At least he doesn't have to worry about stuff like that anymore. I settled for just telling them off in my mind as I stepped around them.
I did have a good time, I don't think that's coming across as I write this. But I was feeling rather down so I just headed for the parking lot after completing just the 1 mile loop. I still have to go back tomorrow (and I might actually have company this time, I've been told the kids want to ride some rides with me) so I was more than ready to get back home, take a shower and rest up for the final day of the quest.
Tomorrow I get those damned coasters!!
You know what would have been nice during this whole hurricane thing? Having someone call me and tell me they were coming to ride out the storm with me and help me with the prep, because the yard stuff is a bit overwhelming.
Don't get me wrong, I didn't for even one second entertain the notion that it would ever happen; I knew it wouldn't. But it sure would have been nice to feel that anybody on this earth actually cared enough to think about it.
I used to be cherished. You know what Taz did once? We were living in California and I was going to be singing a solo in an upcoming concert with my chorus. He was going to be away on the East Coast for 2 weeks for important business so he was going to have to stay there for the weekend and would miss my solo. It would have been too hard to fly 6 hours home and then turn around the next day and do another 6 back to the east.
I was ok with it, I really was and even if I hadn't been, I NEVER would have told him so. I didn't want him to be the least bit distracted for his meetings so it was no big deal.
However, he surprised me (totally) by arranging to fly back home on Saturday afternoon, attend my concert and then fly back Sunday morning. He had considered just showing up at the concert unannounced but decided that might throw me off and mess up my solo so he came to our house a few hours before so that I could get over my shock. I was SO surprised and shocked and thrilled. All of my fellow chorus members were pretty surprised to see him there too because they'd known he was away and felt bad that I wouldn't have anybody in the audience for my big moment.
That made me feel cherished beyond belief and I never forgot it. I was forever grateful that he had put himself out that way and thought about it on his own, knowing that I would much rather have him out in the audience than 3000 miles away. He actually said that he never, not for one minute, considered not being there. That meant more to me than just about anything he did for me over the years.
Taz wasn't a big romantic and these types of events were few and far between but for over 3 decades I always knew I was important to someone on this earth and now I'm not and probably never will be again and that makes my heart hurt in ways I never knew it could.
I did a little hurricane prep today, I went shopping for snacks!
But first, I went to Epcot again so Day 2 of Quest for the Coasters is in the bag. Only 2 more days to go!
I was just going to go in and out, I was trying to beat the rain but then I got there and the clouds didn't look nearly as menacing as they had on the drive over so I decided to risk it and try a few more things at the festival.
This year they have a cheese challenge - try 5 different cheese offerings and then get a free cheesecake. I'm a sucker for cheesecake so I tried 2 of the options tonight.
Cottage pie
and black pepper boursin souffle with a really yummy fig topping.
I loved both of these and would order them again even if I wasn't getting free cheesecake.
I also tried another first
This is me trying the infamous Beverly soda from Italy that so many people think is disgusting. Maybe I'm weird (ha, no maybe about it) but I kind of liked it. I mean, I probably wouldn't want to drink a whole bottle of it but I would drink it again. I finished my whole little cup. I don't see why people hate it so much.
I stayed at the park for about an hour. That's about all I can stand of being by myself. After that I start to look at all the other couples with envy and that's when I know it's time to go home.
Except I didn't go home. I decided it was finally time to do a little hurricane shopping so that I wouldn't be stuck in the house for days with no snacks. I can't even imagine how awful that would be.
The Walmart shelves were seriously stripped bare - no bread or water and barely any chips (oh no!) but I managed to find enough snacks to keep me happy next week. I bought way too much sugar but hell, food is all I've got in my life so, at least for a few days, I'm going to eat my feelings and indulge myself. I'll go back to being a good girl after this is over and hey, I still have veggies left over from last week so I can make healthy smoothies from time to time to balance it all out. Plus I got guacamole which is made from avocados which is full of the healthy kind of fat so that will make everything better. Right? Heck, I feel healthier just thinking about it!
The latest forecast is actually looking a little better for us in that it's moving a bit east which means it might be more of a coastal event and not affecting us so much. It's also slowing down so while it was first forecast to hit us on Sunday, now it won't really be here till late Tuesday or during the day on Wednesday. So I have no idea when I'll be back at work. Not the vacation I would have chosen but hey, I'll take it. I am SO glad I didn't cut my cable yet. I was planning on disconnecting the cable tv because I can't afford it (even though the thought pretty much kills me because it's been such a comfort to me all these months) but I decided to wait until the middle of September so I could get the whole Internet thing figured out and I'm so glad I did. I can't imagine going through this storm without being able to keep an eye on the forecast or being able watch mindless stuff during all the long hours I'll be stuck in the house.
This whole hurricane thing is quite the experience. People panic and so even though nothing is going to happen for days, not only are stores running out of food, but it's very difficult to find gasoline. I tried to fill up my tank this morning at the gas station near my office and there was nothing available. I still had almost half a tank so it wasn't an emergency but it did cause me some stress throughout the day. Luckily I was able to find gas on the way home from work although I did have to wait in line to get it. So now I'm going to drive as little as possible for the next few days to keep that tank full just in case we lose power in the days following the storm and gas would be unavailable.
I cried on the way home from work today, I have a feeling it'll be a daily occurrence during this event so I'm just going to go with it. It's not like anybody is going to be around to see me at my worst, just Charlie and she's used to it by now.
I promise, tomorrow I'm actually going to do some yard work to get the outside ready for the storm. Really, I will. I'm almost sure I will. Probably.
The hurricane is all anyone can talk about these days. Someone posted that waiting for a hurricane is like being stalked by a turtle. You know it's coming for you but it's so slow.
There are so many things I should be doing, so many things I could do but I find myself not wanting to do any of them. Maybe I'm in denial.
Yesterday I got home from work and decided to swim instead of going to the store. I know the store will be so crowded and they are already running out of everything so it's just too stressful. Swimming is much nicer and it's so warm and humid lately that swimming is a real pleasure. After dipping in the pool I always sit outside to dry off and read.
Then, it was still fairly early so I said "screw it" and took myself off to Epcot for the opening of the Food and Wine Festival. Here I am enjoying a croissant aux escargots in France.
It's always the first thing I get each year at Food and Wine. I LOVE escargot so much and it's not something easily found on a menu around here. I have Taz to thank for introducing them to me, it's not like I grew up eating snails. I'm pretty adventurous food-wise (although not nearly as adventurous as he was) which is amazing considering I grew up in a real meat and potatoes household where Chinese takeout was considered exotic.
Last year, at Food and Wine, Disney was giving away a cutting board to each annual passholder on their 4th visit to the festival. Taz really wanted these cutting boards (we would each get one) and he was afraid they would run out so he made us get up early each day of the Labor Day holiday weekend and get over to Epcot so that we could get the cutting board by Monday. We were leaving the next Saturday for our California vacation and he didn't want to take the chance of waiting until we got back. I started calling the whole weekend the Quest for the Cutting Board and posted pictures on Facebook about our progress.
It turned out to be such a special time (and now a beloved memory) because we took the time to ride some rides we hadn't gone on in years, ate breakfast each day at a new place and we took a bunch of selfies that are so precious to me now. Taz was thrilled with his cutting board, he definitely thought it was worth every early morning. I may have been a little less enthusiastic about getting up early on the weekend and holiday but I sucked it up and did it anyway because it meant so much to him.
This year Disney is giving away sets of coasters that look very similar to the cutting board so I have determined to take up the challenge and have invented a sequel to Quest for the Cutting Board called Quest for the Coasters. I plan on doing all 4 visits within this holiday weekend in tribute to Taz. Of course the dratted hurricane is threatening to derail my plans but hopefully it won't.
So last night was my first visit and I obtained the very much sought after magnet. My second visit (tonight) and third will be short ones, I basically just need to scan my band to enter the park and it records that I've been there. I will probably hang around long enough to get something to eat or drink and then head back out till the next day. Then on my Sunday morning visit, I will obtain the prized coasters!
Last night, after eating my escargot, I followed my usual pattern of getting ice cream in France and then walking over to Morocco to eat it. Taz LOVED Morocco and I love how you can lose yourself in the scenery and be transported back in time.
Isn't it such a special place? I love the whole atmosphere.
After a happy time in Morocco, I decided to head back home. I'm lucky that I live only 20 minutes from there so I can get back home quickly and still have some time to relax on the couch before it's time for bed.
So, I didn't end up doing any hurricane prep yesterday. Today I tried to find gas and the station near my office was completely out. That's a bit worrying. I'll run out later this morning and try again but there comes a point where you have to stop because you're using up all your gas looking for gas. I'm supposed to go visit my mother tomorrow but I won't be able to if I can't fill up. At least she's in assisted living now so she's taken care of during this storm.
I'm trying to be all brave about this but I cried again on the way in to work. I guess all of this brings up vulnerabilities that I would rather keep buried. And now the storm isn't supposed to hit till Tuesday so I have days of this to go through still. Can't wait.
On any given day, I think I'm doing pretty well. My sister asked me how I was doing over the weekend and when I answered "good" she cocked her head and gave me a "tell me the truth" look but it was the truth. I'm feeling strong (or numb, not sure which) and rarely cry these days. I'm more focused on the future than I am on the past.
And then a teeny, tiny little thing like a hurricane comes along and BOOM! I'm right back feeling tiny, overwhelmed, vulnerable and alone.
See that black dot that says 2PM Mon? That is literally right over my house. Now it's still early days and as of this morning the path was going slightly south in some of the models but other models are still predicting it will come right over me.
I've been through this before - 2 years ago Irma wasn't expected to come right over us but it did. That was the scariest thing I've ever been through, even Taz was concerned. It happened around midnight so it was dark and it was loud and it lasted forever. Even after the hurricane moved off, the wind kept going for hours and with each gust I could hear things ripping off my house. We ended up getting a whole new roof and having our enclosure completely re-screened because so many things had been destroyed during the storm.
So, since that's my most recent hurricane memory, it can't help but affect the way I'm reacting right now.
Except this time I'll have to do all the outside prep and ride out the storm by myself. And, I'm sorry, I know I should stop feeling sorry for myself, but it just makes me want to have a little toddler tantrum. I wish I was stronger, I really do.
I've learned my lesson, of course. I post funny hurricane memes on Facebook but I won't share my feelings because nobody gives a damn and this is just something I have to deal with by myself.
The hardest part about a hurricane is waiting for it. We all get several days of advanced notice and then we wait and panic and search fruitlessly for water. I have some prep things that need to be taken care of before the storm gets here:
1. buy snacks - this is THE most important aspect of a hurricane. You're stuck for hours in the house and you're going to get hungry and vegetables just aren't going to cut it
2. stack outdoor furniture by the sliding glass door - Taz taught me well and although I've never done it by myself (and probably won't organize it as efficiently as he always did) I'm sure I can at least get everything in a clump under the porch roof so that it won't be lying around waiting to become a projectile
3. bring any loose items inside - fill up the big tub in the master bathroom with all the pool toys
4. gather up loose branches and at least put them into garbage bags so they can't blow through a window
5. trim tree branches - I won't be able to do this because I don't have the right equipment but I wish I could because I fear they'll break off and break a window or hurt my car
6. fill up bathtubs with water so that it can be used to flush toilets if necessary - I've done this with every hurricane and never needed it but, rest assured, if I skip it this time it will become a problem
7. buy more snacks - you can never have too many bags of chips
This was my snack table for Irma 2 years ago. I held off eating anything until the rain and wind started - hours before it actually came over us - and there was still plenty left over when it was all said and done but it was very reassuring to know there were plenty of yummy things to eat while we awaited our fate.
8. obsess about whether it would be safer to park the car in the driveway or on the street
9. make sure all the flashlights have fresh batteries - gotta love Taz, he believed in being prepared so I have oodles of batteries
At least I have a better plan for a safe space this time around. They tell you to shelter in place in a room with no windows and as far from exterior walls as possible. Last time we identified 2 places - the laundry room (which isn't a room but more like a small closet and not comfortable for 2 people and a dog) and the walk in closet in the master bedroom. We ended up in the closet when the hurricane went over our heads but it's on an exterior wall so I was never completely comfortable with that idea. Last night on TV they did a report and the reporter talked about using an interior hallway and just closing all the bedroom/bathroom doors. Perfect! I have a small interior hallway that opens onto 2 bedrooms and a bathroom but if I close those doors then there are no windows nearby so we'll be safe from blowing glass. It's roomier than the closet (especially now with all Taz's clothes piled on the floor of the closet) so I can put pillow and blankets down and we could even sleep there if need be. That's safer than sleeping in my bed right next to 2 big windows. I feel a lot better finally having my safe space identified.
I had a little breakdown yesterday and cried, I'm sure it won't be the last time. I wish Taz was here, not that I'd want him to have to go through another hurricane but just because it's more comforting and even more fun to have him around. I wish I didn't have to do it by myself. I wish a lot of things but the bottom line is, it doesn't matter what I wish.
It is what it is.
Now back to the story of my trip, sorry I got distracted by shopping.
I'm not going to lie, it was hard to walk into my older sister's house and know that she wasn't going to be there. I was dragging my feet but Charlie couldn't wait to get inside. She may not love the dogs but she adores and worships the cat. Stubby doesn't quite return the feeling although I do think Stubby enjoys the attention from Charlie.
Once I got inside and started talking to my brother in law, it all felt normal and I was able to enjoy my visit very much. I enjoyed being surrounded by my sister's things, there are glimpses of her everywhere.
We spent a lot of the visit eating - grilling at my little sister's house, lunch on Saturday at an Asian buffet, steak at a local roadhouse. Since I don't go out to eat very often anymore, I enjoyed that almost as much as the company. We laugh a lot, share memories, cry a little.
In between eating and talking, I spent time trying to sleep. I'm a restless sleeper whenever I'm in a new bed anyway but all I could do was toss and turn on Friday night. You'd have thought I'd be exhausted after the drive. Finally around 2am I gave up and ripped off the pajamas I was wearing because I couldn't stand them a moment longer. After that I promptly fell sound asleep and didn't wake up until after 6:30 which is pretty good for me. Saturday night I didn't even bother with them, I had learned my lesson.
One thing the South does better than anywhere else is biscuits! On my way out of town Sunday morning I stopped at the gas station we always filled up at and picked up this homemade egg and bacon biscuit and OMG, it was so good. I have never been good at making biscuits so I am in awe of anyone that doesn't end up with hockey pucks.
I've spent most of my adult life researching the author of Little House on the Prairie, Laura Ingalls Wilder. I was a founding board member of an academic association dedicated to her and put together a couple of conventions a few years ago. As it turns out, Laura and her husband Almanzo lived in the panhandle of Florida in the 1890s for a little less than a year. They were trying to find a place that wasn't as bitterly cold as South Dakota after Almanzo got sick. Unfortunately, Florida was much too hot and humid for Laura (oh how I relate) so they left 10 months after they arrived, never returned and Laura didn't have much nice to say about the area. However, it's a thrill for me to have a Laura site so close since all the other ones are in the midwest. So, as usual, I veered off the road a couple of miles on the way home to pay homage. It's a peaceful corner of Florida. Taz and I have picnicked there in the past.
It was an easy drive back home and I made really good time. I have discovered that I enjoy long drives as long as I am in control of the driving and there is nobody around to disturb my calm. I enjoy blasting the radio and singing along all the way down the highway. Now that I know I can do it, I will try to make my way to Alabama more often; I think my family needs me as much as I need them.
Next up - I have to figure out a time to get to the aviation museum in Georgia! I would have tried for this coming weekend since it's a holiday weekend but there's a tropical storm/hurricane headed our way so even if it turns out to be mostly nothing, it probably won't be good driving weather. After having lived through Irma 2 years ago, I don't take those things lightly and I'm really not looking forward to going through it alone.
