whirlwind

 

yeah, so i haven't been on here in a while - sorry! believe me when i tell you, life has been a roller coaster ride and i feel like i haven't had a chance to catch my breath in weeks.

the first big news is - we're all moved in to the new house! oh my gosh, that was quite an endeavor and there were times when i didn't see how it was going to happen but at 11:58 pm on new year's eve we finished moving the last load. we had our new years kiss in the living room and then dropped our exhausted bodies into bed for a long sleep. it wasn't the romantic new year's eve of my dreams but maybe it was even better- a truly new start at the beginning of a new year...nah, i would rather have been out partying or doing something romantic. lol

christmas was magical, it was amazing to see it through the eyes of the kids. because so many of my adult christmases were just taz and me, this was a completely different experience and took me back to my childhood.

and then the real fun stared, we had one week to get everything from chris's small house moved into our new house, clean and paint his old house while we also had to work our full-time jobs because neither of us had any time to take off. it was quite the effort and i must say i was exhausted, overwhelmed and probably more than a little cranky that week. it was not the relaxed holiday week that i had been hoping for because i hate moving (and i probably mentioned that out loud more than once during that week) but somehow we actually got it all done and did a good enough job that chris got his entire security deposit back. whew!

i wish i could say it's been all smooth sailing since then but the reality is that the first couple of weeks of the new year have been rough. relationships are hard at times and sometimes we have to think long and hard about what we want. sometimes people do stupid things that hurt. the first year that taz and i were married was rough too and i thought about walking out more than once. looking back now i realize i would have missed out on 32 mostly happy years and so many memories but at the time, i could only see whatever pain i was feeling right then. i'm trying to apply the lessons i've learned to this new relationship, knowing that love isn't something to throw away when things get messy but that i always have to balance that with respect for myself. 

the new house is great but it's still a major work in progress. we had no running water or kitchen appliances for the first couple of weeks. we now have a refrigerator and stove but no kitchen sink and the water is an on again/off again thing because of a mysterious leak that keeps the meter running constantly so we keep having to shut it off. our landlord is supposed to come out this weekend and check the water lines running from the main street to the private road that leads to our property. i can only hope that they get it fixed so that we can have consistent water. i have never been a fan of roughing it but at least i'm getting better at it.

i still have my house but it's getting emptier every day as we move things into our new place. it's weird to watch it become less and less mine but it's time and i'm (mostly) at peace about giving it up. i intend to have it emptied by the middle of february so that i can set a closing date before the end of that month. it will be hard saying goodbye, i have no doubt of that, but it will also be a relief. it's truly the end of an era and time to move forward.

forward is my word for 2021.