kids

 

It's a dreary, rainy, chilly day here in Florida and I'm working from home with 2 kids that should be in school but they can't because they are off school this week. Because my job is awesome (although equally annoying at times) I am able to work from home from time to time so I have rearranged my schedule to keep an eye on them and still earn a living.

Have you ever tried to keep 2 energetic kids from disrupting your work? It's not easy and I feel like the bad guy every time I have to say "I'm working, you need to go play in your room or outside."

See those feet up there? There's a whole kid buried under that blanket watching a video with his headphones on. He prefers to be out with me and he tries to be good but he just said "mystery meat" which is probably the answer to a question they just asked on his video and he can't help but say it out loud from time to time because he's 7 and he forgets he needs to be quiet.

Originally Chris wanted the kids' mom, who lives 20 minutes away, to take care of them this week during the day while we worked. The woman, who stays home all day every day and hasn't had a job in years, had the audacity, when he asked her on the phone about helping out, to say "what about your old lady?" and the only thing that kept me from snatching the phone out of his hands and letting her know what I thought of her disrespectful comment was the fact that the kids were in the back seat and I make it a point to NEVER say anything about their mother in their presence. But I really wanted to, not only because she called me his old lady but because she has basically acted like I didn't exist for the past year and a half but when she thinks she's about to be inconvenienced suddenly I should be part of the equation and take responsibility? 

I am definitely regretting all the times I've taken the kids shopping for her birthday or Mothers Day and paid for them to get presents for her.

Being a step parent is weird. I have all the responsibility for them - laundry, food, entertainment, school transportation, child care - but I also exist in this gray area where I don't have a say in a lot of things nor do I feel like I am really allowed to correct their behavior or make decisions.

When I started thinking about future romantic relationships, I never imagined having a partner who had elementary school age children. Don't get me wrong, I love these kids with all that I have and I can no longer imagine my life without them but sometimes the idea of doing all this for the next 12 years or so is a little daunting...or maybe just plain exhausting.

Sometimes I just want some time to myself. I want to wake up when I want, eat what and when I want, read books until my eyes ache and watch whatever TV show I want to watch. 

But then I remember that I had a year of that and it was damned lonely and I'm lucky to have so many people that love me.

But seriously, a vacation wouldn't hurt!

At least we've got this little one to provide comic relief throughout the day! This is Willow who adopted us one day.

And now I must go organize lunch for the 3 of us before I go back to work because apparently kids need to eat 3 times a day, every damned day. Who knew? 

Wedding

 

I'm just chilling at home today, doing some work but also dreaming about my wedding and making plans. I can't help it, planning events is my jam and I haven't done it in so long!

I've started making a to do list and feel like we've got a lot of things checked off already.

This whole experience has been a lesson in just believing that things are going to fall into place and stop trying to control everything. I couldn't find a place to hold the ceremony and reception and was stressing and then, suddenly, the perfect place practically landed in my lap and we both loved it and there was no need to look any further.

I started to feel the same sort of stress about picking out a wedding dress. I wanted something unique, didn't want to be a typical bride but still wanted to FEEL like a bride. I also didn't want to spend a whole lot of money on something I would never wear again. I watch a lot of Say Yes To The Dress and I cringe at the outrageous amounts of money spent on wedding dresses and I wasn't going to do that. Heck, I'd rather spend that money on a honeymoon.

So after a few false starts (thank goodness you can return dresses ordered online) I found THE dress on a website. Yes, I would have loved to have the experience of going to a bridal shop and trying on dresses with my nearest and dearest cheering me on but I don't really have any friends or family close by so ordering online and trying the dress on in private seemed like the way to go.

The perfect dress took 4 weeks to arrive and when I got the notice that it had been delivered to my office I was so happy except that no package  had been delivered. Yikes! My boss suggested maybe it had been delivered to the wrong office suite, our office is in the back and sometimes things get dropped off at the completely different company in the front. Sure enough, that's what happened so I finally had the package in my hands. Whew.

But then I had to wait until I got home to try it on and that was a bit of torture. All the waiting was worth it because the dress fits perfectly and it's lovely and I feel like a bride. I actually got teary when trying it on, I had my Say Yes To The Dress moment even if I was all by myself.

And no, I'm not going to post pictures of the whole dress, that little tease up there is all you get. It's lace, off the shoulders, shows my tattoos and I'm wearing a favorite hat from Carmel with it.

Finding my perfect dress after stressing over it was a relief but finding my perfect shoes was easy peasy. I knew I didn't want high heels because I'm a total klutz and I don't want to worry about falling on my wedding day so I figured some sort of flat sandal would be perfect. On a whim I googled skull sandals because we're having a Halloween wedding and we both love skulls and I found these. The original picture showed them in black which was ok with me but then I clicked around and found them in white and "click" I had those babies ordered. I'm not a big fan of bling, there is none on my dress, but I can live with blingy little skulls on my feet! They don't arrive for another month so I have to be patient (I hate being patient) but I know the wait will be worth it.

The next thing I was stressing over was finding some rental houses for our families for the wedding weekend. Plus one of the houses will host our after party. I knew I wanted to rent the house next to my old house for my family so I wanted to find 2 more houses nearby for Chris's extended family and our family. I looked at over a hundred houses last year just trying to find something perfect and got so frustrated that I decided to give it a rest. I told myself that the perfect venue and the perfect dress had presented themselves so the same thing would happen with the houses.

And damned if it didn't happen exactly that way. Last week I started looking again and within an hour I had 3 houses all within walking distance of each other. The house for our family which will also host the after party is decorated with a theme that is just perfect for Chris; it's like it was made for him. It's going to be an awesome after party! Plus it will fit our little family just right. Each adult kid will have their own room and the 2 little kids and our grandson have plenty of room too. There is a pool, hot tub, pool table, air hockey and foosball so it will be a fun and relaxed party after the slightly more formal feel of the ceremony and reception.

Since we have the little kids for that whole week, there won't be a romantic wedding night or honeymoon right away. The best I'm hoping for is that we can ask everybody to stay in the house that night and let us have the hot tub to ourselves for a little while. We'll just enjoy hanging out with all the kids for a day or two, get the littles back to school for the week and then leave on our honeymoon the following week.

We have ideas of where to go on a honeymoon and I've started doing a little planning. More on that later!

2022!

 

Happy New Year!

It's a brand new year and I'm feeling sassy! And you want to know why?

Yepperdoodles, 2022 is the year I'm getting married again and I finally get to plan and have a wedding. Taz and I eloped at the county courthouse and although we had a couple of vow renewals during our 30+ years together, it wasn't the same as having a real wedding so I'm going to enjoy every second of this experience.

But first, time for a few Christmas and New Year memories with my family.

Our little family had a very nice holiday season. We had the kids for the 2nd week of Christmas break so that meant from Christmas morning until they went back to school on January 4. 

That's 12 days.

12 whole freaking days of having to provide 3 meals a day and try to work from home with 2 kids running around OR having to take them to the office and still try to get work done while dealing with constant noise and arguments. Yeah, good times.

It was awesome.

We had a fun Christmas morning with just the 4 of us and then, after opening presents and having a delicious breakfast casserole, we packed up the car and drove to Daytona to spend time with Chris's older kids and our grandson. We also packed up Christmas dinner and brought it with us because we had a condo type place with a full kitchen so we could host everybody. It was wonderful to have us all together and we got to have the grandson overnight so all the kids got to spend hours swimming.

Only one thing marred Christmas weekend, a woman that Chris had considered a mother figure for the past several years passed away on December 26 and he was really shaken by it even though it was not unexpected. 

We still had the kids New Years Eve weekend so we spent it all together at a theme park resort. I, silly fool that I am, had visions of us all taking part in the celebration they were holding in the hotel's food court with balloon animals, movies and watching the ball drop at midnight.

The kids had other ideas and wanted to go swimming so that's what we did until the pool closed at 10. I was a little cranky, I have to admit, because it was a struggle to find dinner and I was starving - the food court had long lines and no food that the kids wanted, Dominos had a 3 hour wait and the grill out by the pool was closed. Luckily Chris came through and found pizza delivery that arrived in just 45 minutes so I was able to eat by 9pm preventing tears...well, most of the tears.

We were back up in the motel room by 10:30 and even though we had every intention of staying up until midnight, we failed. The kids fell asleep on the couch while watching a movie and I just closed my eyes while Chris was watching a football game and playing on his tablet and next thing I knew it was 2am and everybody else was sound asleep and I had missed the new year yet again. I used to ALWAYS be awake (and often partying) at midnight and now I haven't been awake to welcome in the new year since 2017.

Oh well, maybe next year will be more romantic.

On to wedding planning! We got engaged in July and didn't even mention the word wedding for 2 months but in September we got serious and found a venue. Since then I have purchased my wedding dress (I LOVE my dress!!!,) we've compiled a guest list, rented a vacation house where we'll be staying for the wedding weekend and hosting an after party, picked out some of the music and arranged to have some really special Save The Dates made for us to send out to our guest list in February since many people will be traveling to the wedding and need to make arrangements ahead of time.

We still need to figure out what everybody else will be wearing, pick out the menu for the small reception at the venue, choose a cake (my favorite part!) and figure out how we're going to decorate the vacation house for the after party. It's a Halloween wedding after all so I want to go a little wild with the theme.

It's not going to be very traditional - no sit down dinner, no dancing, no throwing of the bouquet and garter. People will be encouraged to change into their swimsuits at the after party and enjoy the pool, hot tub and pool table. I just want to relax and laugh with my family and closest friends...while looking like a princess, of course.

Since so much will be going on this year, I vow to do better with blogging and try to write at least once a week. Don't worry, it won't always be about the wedding; I am so not a bridezilla. I really want to document the ups and downs of life with an unexpected family now that I'm closing in on 2 years of this new adventure.

I also want to document the experience of having a new relationship later in life. It's daunting to start all over again after so many years. Sometimes I miss my old life so much, sometimes I am thrilled to have new experiences, sometimes I wonder if I've taken on more than I can handle, sometimes I'm overwhelmed - either by love or exhaustion, depends on the day. I'm going to try to share all of that with you - the good and the bad.

But for now I'll leave you with a picture of us on Christmas Eve when we took the dogs for a walk at the park. See you again soon!