Bad...Ugly

 

And now for the Bad - what went wrong

I'm going to try to keep this as short as possible because I know that some of this would hurt peoples' feelings if they ever read it so I'm not going into detail.

1. People. There were a lot of people who should have been there and weren't. Chris's entire family was invited over a year ago and just a few months ago were talking enthusiastically about coming but a few weeks before they all came up with various excuses and said they weren't coming. I'm sure they weren't looking forward to the long drive (I know how long it is, we've driven up there twice in a year to see them) but it's not any longer than my family had to drive. I felt so bad for Chris, it really sucks and I can't help being angry about how they hurt him.

His own son couldn't make it a priority to come even though he too had been making plans just a few months ago. That one killed him and caused him to break down during the ceremony; I'm going to have trouble getting over it.

It wasn't just his family, friends of his that he invited, that said they were coming just a day before, didn't bother to show up or even let us know. 

2. Food. On the other hand, it's probably good that we had small numbers because we really didn't have enough food. I'm going to take part of the blame for this insomuch as I should have seen it coming and had a backup plan in place. But having a backup plan says that I didn't trust someone to come through for us and I didn't want to do that to them. It's not like there was no food, no one starved, but there would have been more if there had been better time management and planning.

3. Makeup and Hair. Right from the beginning I knew I wanted to get my makeup and hair professionally done but things happened, people backed out and I didn't want to burden anybody with helping me so I did it myself. I'm ok with the makeup and not getting lashes but I really wish I'd been able to get my hair done. Luckily my family kept telling me I looked beautiful and I felt good about myself so I was fine on the day and I don't hate the way I look in the pictures. Not that we have very many of them because...

4. Pictures. There are so many pictures we didn't get, so many moments that are lost forever. We were never going to be able to afford a professional photographer but someone in Chris's extended family agreed to use our camera to take the pictures but didn't show up and never texted/called to say they weren't coming but rather let us find out through the grapevine. I wasn't surprised, I had my doubts about this person, but I was disappointed especially for Chris who thought this person cared about him. There was a backup plan, I was assured I would still get pictures but that fell apart too.

5. First Dance. We didn't have one even though I'd picked out a song. The reception needed more organization, I was too busy fixing things that hadn't been set up correctly and time got away from us.

6. Cake. I really wanted a pretty wedding cake, I even had one picked out from Publix that was perfect with our theme but, as with the food, ordering that cake would have upset someone that said they wanted to make a cake for us so I didn't pursue it. The cake arrived so late that everyone had already gone home and we had packed everything up plus it was in real danger of toppling over so I didn't feel comfortable cutting into it and we couldn't anyway because the knife had already been packed away in our cars. The design would have been cute with more time and attention. I guess I needn't have worried that Chris would smash cake in my face. LOL But I really like cake so I regret not having one and I feel bad that our guests didn't get cake. Plus I had this custom cake topper made and it never even got out of the box. I think I might order a small cake in the design that I love for our 1 month anniversary so that I can use my cake topper.

The Ugly - what we don't talk about

The cake thing was the last straw and I ended the reception in tears. I had to go take a walk around the deck away from people just to compose myself. The good thing about that is I got a chance to see all our Nightmare Before Christmas inflatables set up out there along with the 10 foot tall Grim Reaper (I have named him Reapy) that had greeted all our guests. 

We also had these cute glass jack-o-lanterns that lined the railing and Chris lit the candles as soon as it got dark. I hadn't seen any of this because I was being kept out of sight until the ceremony started and of course I don't have pictures of any of this. It really looked magical out there and that calmed me down a bit so at least I could go back inside and not have my family ask me what was wrong a million times; they only asked half a million because anyone could see I was pretty upset. My sister was so sad that I was sad and it was a sucky way to end the evening.

The things that went wrong are things I didn't take charge of, I sat back and took people at their word and trusted them. I'm really not a control freak and didn't want to be a bridezilla but now I can see why that kind of behavior happens.

However, now that I've written it out, I can let it go. None of it prevented us from getting married and since the people that showed up are the ones that really care about us, they aren't going to judge or hold it against us. 

We have a shelf in our living room that holds some of the wedding items just to remind us of that special day. I smile when I look at it and I'm only carrying around the happy memories.