This is a hard post to write but it has been running through my head for days now and whenever that happens, I simply must write.
Just the other day I spent some time "touring" a fellow blogger's beautiful home. Huge rooms, beautifully furnished, with perfectly landscaped grounds that would rival many resorts. For just a moment I questioned my own life choices.
Luckily those moments don't last long. I truly love my little cottage and don't long for a big house. It's a wonderful choice for other people but I prefer cozy, quirky and vintage which is good because that's exactly what I've got. Once I'm secure in that, I can channel my jealous moments into inspiration for making the most of what I've been blessed with.
I'm having a lot of fun defining and refining my decorating style so the motivation seems to be working. I spent the last 4 years in a bit of a fog, not really caring about my surroundings so it's a nice change to want to turn my home into a place of beauty...my own definition of beauty.
More troubling, recently I've watched people around me accomplish goals that are similar to mine but that I am not even close to obtaining. And for a moment, I feel extremely jealous. Why do they have a successful blog, why are they considered the expert in my favorite subject, why are they getting published and not me too?
It would be so easy to stop right there and wallow in my self-righteous indignation and never hold myself responsible for accomplishing something.
But I've watched envy and discontent ruin lives and I don't want to go down that road.
I'm also truthful enough to admit that I have nothing to be envious of. If I don't reach my goals it's my own fault because I never get very far beyond the idea stage. I certainly haven't put the work into it that others have. I've got a lot of interests and all sorts of ideas for projects, articles, research and books but just having ideas isn't going to get me to the finish line. So I'm hoping to turn the whole jealousy thing on its head and use it as motivation to meet my own goals. A little judiciously applied jealousy has worked quite well with the decorating, no reason it shouldn't work with my life goals, right?
So for all you bloggers out there posting pictures of your beautiful houses, keep on doing what you're doing because you inspire me everyday with your creativity.
And for all my colleagues, fellow board members and relatives who are reaching new heights and fulfilling your creative goals, I am so proud of you (and yeah, teeny bit jealous) and will personally thank each one of you for inspiring me in the forward to my first published book.