balance

 

Only a few more days until Christmas! We're all ready with the kids' presents but I actually haven't gotten things for Chris. He got an early present, something he wanted for basketball, and I have made surprise plans for all 4 of us to go see a favorite singing person at a county fair in January but I'd like to get a couple more little things for him. I haven't been able to get out by myself this week because of the kids so I'm hoping I can have a little time to myself on Saturday, just an hour should do it.

I'll have all the time in the world to myself on New Years Eve during the day. I had this great idea that Chris and I (the kids will be with their mother) would get a bunch of snacks in the house and do a movie marathon all day with each of us picking our favorite movies but yesterday Chris informed me that his best friend and business partner was coming over that day to work on the shed that was just delivered and that they are turning into an office. I know they need to work on it but it irks me that he made plans for NYE and didn't even bother to ask if I had anything planned for the 2 of us. We so rarely get time together and our last 2 New Years Eves have been less than romantic so, yeah, I had plans and I'm not thrilled he didn't even think about it.

But I'm nothing if not flexible so I'm already on to Plan B - something just for me. It fits in with my new mantra of balance. I'm going to spend the day doing the things I used to do, things I love. I think I'll drive to a cute little town just an hour away and visit the Saturday market there, have lunch at my favorite French bakery and shop in the vintage store next door which is my absolute favorite place. The town is adorable and they have these big swings in the middle of the street so you can swing and people watch.

It's the sort of thing Taz and I used to do all the time and I went there several times by myself after Taz passed but I haven't been there in over 2 years now because it's not the sort of thing Chris would ever think of doing. So that's where the balance comes in - I need to do the things I love from time to time even if I have to do it by myself.

Yesterday I wrote down a list of all the things I love and that I haven't been doing lately. I'm going to figure out a way to do something from that list once a month whether it's with the kids, just Chris and me, or just me.

1. Travel

2. Read

3. Visit cute towns like Mount Dora and Winter Garden

4. Explore new cute towns

5. Flea Markets

6. Vintage Fairs

7. Movie Theaters

8. Fun restaurants - definitely don’t have to be expensive

9. Festivals and Fairs

10. Food Trucks

11. Historic Research

12. Visit Historic Sites

13. Adventureland stuff

14. Beach

15. Zoos

16. Sing

What I’d like to start doing:

1. Learn to use my new camera

2. Take photos

3. Vlog

4. Bake

5. Jewelry crafting

6. Sew

7. Write a book or two

8. Make hats

9. Learn to fly

10. Develop an Adventure Character

I wanted to put it all down here so that I can refer to it from time to time to remind myself; it's so easy to lose myself in all the day to day tasks and I don't want to let that happen again. I'm not getting any younger and I don't want to turn around and realize all I've done for 10 years is take care of kids and the house and I've forgotten to take care of me.

One fun thing I did recently was drive to Alabama to see my brother in his 40th anniversary performance in The Nutcracker ballet. He's been playing Herr Drosselmeyer since the first performance in 1982 and he's kind of a legend in his little town.

Chris, the kids and I went to see it last year and we all loved it. Chris talked all year about how we were going to see it again this year but in November he suddenly realized he had a basketball game to coach at the Y that day. He's been coaching James's team since June and this past season he also coached the older kids. Basketball takes up every Saturday but I had hoped he'd realize that spending time with my family and seeing Eric in the Nutcracker was more important and he could miss one game. Apparently I was wrong, as soon as he realized there was a conflict with basketball he never even considered going to Alabama. I was hurt, disappointed and angry because my family has done so much for us and was there at our wedding when his family couldn't be bothered but he made a choice to make basketball his priority.

I wasn't going to miss my brother's anniversary performance so I made plans to go by myself. Chris has to give 30 days notice if he's taking the kids out of the state so I asked him to go ahead and give the notice just in case he changed his mind but he never did so even when he realized he probably made the wrong decision, there was nothing he could do about it.

I was angry the day I left, at 6am, for Alabama and I cried for the first 2 hours of the drive but then, as I got closer, I decided to get over it because I was on a road trip - my most favoritest of things to do! I entered into the spirit of travel and completely enjoyed being out on the open road by myself.

Taz and I made this trip several times to visit my family so I stopped at our favorite gas station because it's familiar and also because they have the most amazing leather purses there. I found one I just had to have and I was definitely in the mood to give myself a little treat.

I left early in the morning so that I could make it to town by lunch time to meet up with my brother and his new wife along with my nephew and his wife. We had a fabulous time at lunch, lots of laughs and great food. I was so glad I'd made the effort to get there early enough.

Afterwards I left all of them to spend a little time shopping in town where I found a perfect UGLY sweater for the contest we were having at work. I went back to the motel and enjoyed having the whole space to myself for a few hours before the performance. I watched some Netflix and then took a nap before getting ready and heading to the performance at 7.

I was up for breakfast with my brother and his wife the next morning and then I headed home. It's a 7 hour trip so I didn't make it home until dinner time but, once again, it was fun being out on the road and it reminded me how important it is to do things that bring me joy. I would have loved to have my kids and Chris with me but being by myself is fun too.

By the way - I won the Ugly Sweater Contest at work the next week!