Summer is here

 

This'll be a quickie because me and the Mr. will be heading out for a one night getaway before we go pick up our grandson for a week. We're celebrating 3 years together, can you imagine? It still kinda seems like yesterday that he said he wanted to "kidnap" me for a weekend (after having talked for about a month) and I (very unlike me) said yes and the rest is history.

C graduated from elementary school last week and it was a grand occasion. She picked out a brand new dress (I had to hem it and that's not something I've done in a while) and I took her to get her nails and hair done. She said she felt like a princess and that just made my heart happy.

I took her shopping for the dress and shoes and, for once, we didn't go to the kids' section. She's growing up!

So school is out for the summer which is great for the kids and means I can sleep in a little every weekday morning and not have to drive them anywhere but it's also a hard time for all of us because the kids are bored while I work from home and I feel a little trapped because I can't make a move in the house without someone asking what I'm doing.

I'm going to try to plan some fun activities for the kids this summer and just take long lunch breaks, knowing that I'll have to make up the time by working into the evening. This week we went to a noon matinee at the local movie theater that is showing kids' movies each week of the summer. We all enjoyed getting out of the house so I think we'll do it every week.

We're also going to try to get in a couple hours of pool time each week and I will try bringing my work laptop to the pool to continue working while they swim. I have to get creative with this so that we aren't at each others' throats by the time August rolls around.

Ok, we're off for our getaway, I'll tell you all about it next week!

sushi and stuff

 

I was out walking Charlie a few minutes ago (yes, I still bring her in to the office) when it hit me - Friday is Taz's birthday.

And not only is it his birthday, it would have been his 60th birthday. Such a milestone and he never made it.

Cue the waterworks. I stumbled back to my office and I've been off and on crying ever since. I'm just never going to understand why he wasn't allowed to live a full life, why he was cheated out of so many years. Even if I couldn't be in his life, I wish he could have had more years and more experiences. There are so many things he wanted to do, so many places he wanted to visit and that makes me sad...and angry, still.

Maybe it's hitting me because of the number - 60 is a big milestone and it kind of snuck up on me. He was 55 when he died and that's where he's stayed in my head but 60 hits different somehow.

Maybe it's because I'm at a challenging place in my life right now - nothing big, just a thousand little things that make me wonder about my choices some days.

I miss Taz, I miss our life together, I really miss all the traveling we did, I miss sushi...oh, how I miss sushi.

I was going to treat myself to sushi last Friday. I'd had a hard week at work but I had finished all my tasks ahead of the deadline by Thursday so I decided to sneak away from my home office, do a little shopping and then try a new sushi restaurant for lunch. Chris and the kids think sushi is disgusting so I rarely eat it these days but Friday was my day.

Until Chris called at 9 that morning to tell me our daughter wasn't feeling well (he had just picked her and our son up for school at their mom's house because she hasn't had a car for a year but that's a story for another day) so he was going to drop the "sick" child off at our house and she could spend the day resting.

Well fuck. There went all my plans to have a little fun and give myself a treat. Not only did I have to stay home but we didn't have anything to eat or drink in the house (because I was going to go shopping Friday) and I wasn't going to be able to go anywhere to get something now. and trust me, that made me so cranky. As a "mom" I knew it was something I had to do but the princess inside of me was not happy about her plans being disrupted without warning or even consideration. Things didn't get much better in my head when the "sick" daughter came in the house talking a mile a minute wanting to hang out with me in the living room and watch TV rather than go rest in her room so I knew she really wasn't all that sick.

So yeah, sushi is all I can think of right now and thinking about sushi makes me think about Taz because he loved it so much and introduced it to me in China. You'd think it would have been Japan, right? But I've never been to Japan so I actually had my first sushi in Shanghai, China.

I've decided to take this Friday (his birthday) off from work (and you'd better believe I'll be announcing this to the Mr. and telling him he'd better not fuck up my Friday) to go do something nice and relaxing for myself and then go have that sushi lunch in his honor. Maybe I'll even get his favorite - a spider roll.

Take Me Back to the Titanic

 

I'm back!

April has been full of some fun things - we attended our 5th grader's first musical concert. 

She's been learning how to play the ukulele after school because her wonderful music teacher wanted to have a ukulele group to play for school functions. She only invited a handful of her students, ones she thought would really work hard and C was one of them. She LOVES it and we're so proud.

I found someone on Etsy to make a tiny replica of my wedding dress for my Sally doll and I freaking love it. I know it's silly but these little things make me happy.

Our cat, Tigger, had a perfect and beautiful little kitten which we've named Snowball. She actually had 3 kittens but 2 of them were gone in just a few hours but Snowball, the last one to be born, is a fat little guy (girl? who knows?) and seems to be very healthy so fingers crossed. He moves around a lot, already has his eyes opening and I think he'll be running the whole house before he's even 4 weeks old.

We're all already in love with him, even Charlie is fascinated and doesn't seem to mind (too much) that he's taken over her bed.

But, by far, the best thing that happened in April was that I got to attend a Titanic speakers conference. I have been a Titanic enthusiast ever since they first discovered the wreck in 1985. Of course I'd been aware of the disaster from 1912 but this was the first time I realized how beautiful the ship had been, how opulent the furnishings and clothes were in 1912 and I think that's when I officially fell in love with historic fashion.

The movie in 1997 was fun to see on the big screen and there was something magical about feeling like I was actually walking the decks. I could have cared less about the fiction story taking place and when I re-watch the movie these days I actually stop when they hit the iceberg because I only watch it to catch a glimpse of life aboard the ship for those 4 days.

When the 100th anniversary rolled around (2012) I desperately wished I could have taken part in one of the many events that were taking place all over the world but we weren't in a place to travel anywhere so we settled for watching the movie in a theater again since they re-released it for the anniversary.

Last year the Titanic exhibit in Orlando announced their first ever Speakers Conference and I signed up to go but then had to cancel almost immediately so when they announced they were doing it again this year, I jumped on it so hard and vowed that nothing and no one was going to keep me from it.

I kept that vow - I attended the event and it was amazing and inspirational and even more than I'd hoped it would be!

The Titanic exhibit has been in Orlando for years and Taz and I visited it a few times, even dragging my brother in law along one time. It's down the street from my job but I have not stopped by in the last 5 years so it was great to be back and see all the exhibits and artifacts again.

The speakers were all the top names in Titanic history since 1985 including several people who have been on numerous drives. My favorite speaker talked about life in 1912 and she was great but I couldn't help but think how I might do a presentation like that differently which has inspired me to put together my own presentation to give to local schools and libraries. I have a collection of Titanic books here in Florida with me (and I try not to think about all the ones that got left behind in California) so I'm going to start researching again.

I really want to put an emphasis on afternoon tea on the Titanic because that's the epitome of luxury and it allows me to talk about the differences in the services for 1st class, 2nd class and 3rd class.

The conference lasted for 2 days so I spent more time in Orlando that week than I ever do which meant a lot of time on the road (it's a 2 hour drive each way if the traffic is bad) but it was totally worth it. Unfortunately my little car didn't agree and overheated on the way home the first day so it's out of commission right now until we can save some money for the repairs. Luckily we have a family car which I am now using so it didn't keep me from the 2nd day of the conference.

There was something deeply satisfying about attending the conference and indulging in something I love. I haven't had a truly *me* moment in awhile and it was long overdue. The whole experience reminded me of how much I love research. Sometimes we need to be reminded of the things that bring us joy, things that can easily be forgotten in the hustle and bustle of the day to day. I'm going to find ways to build research time into my life from now on.

April has been a fun month, fairly low key which is good because May is going to be totally different since we'll be winding down the school year along with C's graduation from 5th grade which seems to be a way bigger deal than when I graduated 5th grade. There will be parties and open houses and a ceremony. We'll be shopping for a new outfit and Chris will even be taking her to get her hair done before the graduation. 

And then school will be out and summer vacation will begin which means having the kids home with me all day while I'm also trying to work...but that's still a month in the future.

Hacienda Hotel

 Sorry for the delay between posts, I had to get a new phone recently and was having trouble with the software that stores the pictures from the phone but I've got it all figured out now...I think.

Since my last post about the first Fancy Flea of the year, we have now been to another Fancy Flea, a much smaller one, in a town just 10 minutes from us. We took the kids and they loved it, especially Cadence who says that vintage markets are now her thing.

We've also attended a couple of the local flea markets which both kids love because they can always find a toy or two that they NEED and the vendors frequently give them small things for free.

But this past weekend it was just Chris and me - my favorite kind of weekend.

On Friday Chris said he wanted to do something fun this weekend, just the two of us and, at first, my mind went blank on something I wanted to do. When I couldn't come up with anything Chris suggested going downtown and playing pool at the pool hall.

While I'm not opposed to playing pool (I'm just not any good at it) it wasn't really my idea of what we could do on our special adults only weekend so I got busy and came up with an idea.

I have a thing for pink hotels. Back in 2021/2022 when we were planning our honeymoon we had decided to go to Hawaii and stay at the Royal Hawaiian which is pink and was built in 1927 - two of my favorite things. But then I went broke so that never happened but there was this other 1927 pink hotel just an hour from where we live that was being renovated and brought back to its former glory.

I had even thought about getting married there (and it would have been lovely) but they didn't know exactly when they were going to open and couldn't guarantee it would be before our wedding so I never went to see it and I kind of forgot about it until I started thinking about what I would really like to do this weekend.

Also, I've been searching for a charming little downtown where Chris and I can escape to easily for daytrips. Somewhere that has charm and makes us feel like we've gone away on vacation even if it's only for a few hours.

Taz and I had those types of places, a couple of little towns we loved but they are a little further away from where I live now and I really want to find a new place where we can make our own memories.

The Hacienda Hotel was everything I wanted it to be - luxuriously pink, that Spanish-Moorish style that was so popular in the 1920s, cozy and old fashioned inside with welcoming white rocking chairs on the back patio. 

There's even a big park in its backyard with a river running through it. I was enchanted.

The town, however, wasn't quite as charming and I don't see it as a place we'll come back to time and time again. It wasn't bad, it just didn't give me all the feels so I will have to keep searching.

After leaving the downtown area, we decided to play a round of mini-golf. I do enjoy miniature golf and I don't suck at it the way I do at most other sports but it was beastly hot and the sun was beating down on me mercilessly and I wasn't exactly dressed for mini-golf so I wasn't sad when the 18 holes came to an end and we I could escape to the air-conditioned paradise of our car.

It was a lovely day and I really enjoyed exploring a new place; it's one of my favorite things to do. I know that Chris had projects back at the house he would have rather been doing so I appreciate the gesture of giving most of the day over to me.

Once back home I changed into less clothes (the dress and hat I'd worn for the day made me feel so cute and was perfect in the town which had breezes blowing off the river but definitely not the smartest choice for mini-golf) and took Chris to Lowes to buy electrical crap for his latest project (putting electrical outlets in the shed that he's turning into an office for his company) while I went to Walmart for toilet paper. Not the most romantic way to end a fun outing but necessary, I guess.

And now I'm back at work and we have the kids starting tonight through next weekend. I have been busy researching other towns to try and one that's closer to us has a night market this Friday so I see that outing in our future, this time with kids. I'll report back and let you know if I've finally found the charming town of my dreams. I'm sure the kids will love the face painting and the scavenger hunt. I'm looking forward to the food trucks and maybe some fun shopping.

The Fancy Flea

 

I came, I saw, I FLEA'D!

Yes, indeedy, I attended the first Fancy Flea Vintage Market of 2023 and it was glorious just to be back among my people.

You may recall that I've been absent from the FF for a couple of years now just because my life is hella busy with stuff that everybody else wants to do and I haven't made myself a priority.

Before that I tried to Flea by myself the year after Taz died and it just wasn't the same without him. The first event I attended was the July indoor event (my very favorite because of the AIR CONDITIONING!) and I walked around just getting sadder and sadder until I needed to get out of there because the tears were literally spilling down my cheeks and people were giving me funny looks. Who the heck cries at a vintage fair?

Chris made sure we headed out to the market just as soon as his basketball game was over so we got there in plenty of time to browse. The weather was perfect (ok, maybe just a tad hot for February) and there were so many vendors. Chris found a cute gift for his business partner's baby who will be 1 in May and I found a few nice things but nothing that I really needed. Our house is pretty crowded so unless I have a specific need or place for something I'm pretty content just to enjoy it from afar. We hiked up and down the streets and enjoyed some of the live music coming from the courthouse lawn.

I'd never been to this particular town before but it's charming so I hope to go back one day and enjoy the shops and restaurants.

I can't even explain how great it felt to be back doing something I love. And I'll tell y'all a little secret - one day I want to be one of the vendors. I would love to collect pretty things that I love and then sell them to people who would love them as well. Chris would be great doing that too because he'd have a whole crowd of people to talk to and entertain, I could see us partnering in a business like that. 

I'm going to put that down as a goal.

And now a little something for the "better late than never" file. You might have noticed that in my previous post where I talked all about Valentine's Day, I never mentioned what Chris got for me and there's a very good reason for that - he did nothing for Vday.

I wasn't upset to the point where I questioned his love for me or wanted to throw something at his head but I was not happy about the whole thing because he seems to have time for everything else in his life but didn't have time to run into Dollar Tree and get a 50 cent card?

I had also mentioned, more than once, a particular necklace at the local drug store and asked for it for Vday. I reminded him a couple of times and even let him know when I'd received an email coupon that he could use for it and it still went in one ear and out the other and I didn't appreciate that but I didn't make a big deal out of it. One night while washing the dishes I did say that I don't ask for a whole lot but when I do, it's because I really want the thing I'm asking for and I left it at that and, frankly, pretty much forgot about it. I mean, get real, I'm a woman so I didn't totally forget about it but I didn't bring it up again and I consider that a victory.

I was on the verge of buying the necklace for myself once or twice because it's something I really liked and wanted to wear every day but something always held me back. I can, and will, buy my own presents but I really wanted this necklace to come from him.

So imagine my surprise when Chris came home Friday night with a bag filled with chocolates, my necklace AND a bracelet he picked out by himself. He apologized for having gotten so caught up in some drama at work that he had overlooked the opportunity to let me know how much I mean to him.

He's really under no obligation to do anything for me, but it was a lovely gesture and I love both my necklace and the unexpected bracelet.

One of Chris's basketball players has a younger 4 year old sister who comes to all the practices and games and in an effort to keep her from being bored, Chris has appointed her his "assistant coach" and lets her help with practices...even though her 8 year old sister objects to being told what to do by a 4 year old.

This past week Chris decided he wanted to do something special for the little girl so he bought supplies and asked me to make her a hat with her name on it so that she could wear it at games. Since the team's name is the Celtics and St. Patricks Day is right around the corner we went with a green theme.

I was getting ready to make the hat when the kids descended on me and proceeded to do all the work. They did a much better job than I would have so I was happy to let them. They ended up making a hat for Chris as well and he and his assistant coach proudly wore them at the game this past weekend. It was a bright spot in, what has been, a challenging season. I'm not going to be sorry to see it end in a couple of weeks and will enjoy the 2 week break before the next one begins.

valentine's day and other stuff

 

February - the month of romance. 

I never really liked Valentine's Day in high school, I even wrote an essay on how much I hated it and I got an A on it although I think the teacher thought I was too young to be so jaded. LOL

But then I got engaged on Valentine's Day and suddenly I loved the whole idea of love and romance. Taz, who was not the most romantic of men, actually did a pretty decent job with Vday. I've never wanted bouquets of roses (I much prefer daisies) or fancy dinners or presents, I'm truly not the least bit high maintenance, but I loved the fact that he made an effort, even on the years when I didn't care, to get me a card, some chocolates and insisted we go out to dinner because we were celebrating not only Vday but also the anniversary of our engagement. I always started my Vday shopping early and usually got him something Darth Vader  related (you would actually be surprised at how many Vday Darth Vader products there are) but one year I got him a robot that pooped candy and that was a big hit. I know lots of people think Vday is too commercialized but so are Halloween and Christmas and we still go all out for them. I enjoy Vday now and I never want anybody to feel neglected so I make an effort.

I started my Valentines plans early this year because it was going to be on a Tuesday which meant we had the kids. I planned a special dinner, bought cards and a little gift for each kid and for Chris and even got a few balloons and flowers to decorate our porch.

Oh, I haven't told you about our porch! We decided to switch furniture around a little and moved our sectional couch out to the porch the weekend before Vday. It looks awesome out there and Chris put up some weatherproofing so that the furniture would stay nice and dry. 

So when the kids got home from school they had a good time opening everything and then I brought dinner right out there so we could eat on the porch. It was wonderful being unplugged and not watching TV while eating. We all talked about our days and enjoyed some great family time. It wasn't a romantic holiday or anything (which kinda sucks since it was our first as husband and wife but whatever) but it was sweet and I know the kids enjoyed the effort.

Then a few days later we finally hit some warm temperatures so we all went to the pool at the YMCA where we are members. Up until now the kids had not been able to pass the swimming test so an adult had to be in the pool with them at all times (and it was usually me because Chris doesn't love swimming) and they couldn't go in the deep end but this time they both passed! I'm very proud of them and VERY happy that I can enjoy a little pool time and then enjoy a little lounging time while they keep playing. I miss my old house and I really miss my pool especially on weekends when the temperatures soar so the YMCA is going to be the next best thing and I look forward to grabbing a good book, sipping on a cold drink while I relax poolside as the kids play on their own. This summer is going to be sweet!

This next weekend is the first Fancy Flea vintage market of the year. I LOVE the Fancy Flea shows and Taz and I made it a priority to attend all of them but for the past couple of years I haven't been able to go because there have always been other plans that took priority. This year I made a promise to myself that I would attend all of them (there are at least 6 of them throughout the year in various towns around the area) and it's a promise that I intend to keep - nothing and no one is going to get in my way. I will go with Chris or I will go by myself but either way - I'm going. Plus it's a payday weekend so I'll even have a little spending money. I usually set myself a very modest budget of only spending $20 which can sometimes be a challenge but I've found some really cute things for only $20 over the years. This time I might give myself a little treat and go all the way up to $30 so I could possibly get more than 1 thing.

I'm excited especially since it's being held in a town I've never visited before but I've heard has a lot of charm - Brooksville. I can't wait to come back and tell you all about it!

weekends

 

Sometimes weekend plans work and sometimes they don't.

2 weekends ago we went on a special trip to south Florida. It had been one of the Christmas presents from me to Chris, to travel to the South Florida Fair to see Brandon Davis in concert.

Brandon is an upcoming country singer that Chris discovered a couple of years ago and absolutely loves and we've already been to 2 of his concerts. In December, when I discovered that he was playing a headliner concert at the fair in January, I bought tickets for the 4 of us (it was a kid weekend) and got an inexpensive motel room near the fairgrounds for the night and surprised Chris with the news on Christmas day. He got tears in his eyes when I told him because following this guy's career means a lot to him.

We headed out straight after basketball because it was a 3 hour drive down to West Palm Beach. The drive was a breeze, check-in at our motel went smoothly and soon we were enjoying the sights and sounds of the fair.

The kids and I had a great time playing with Sally while waiting for the concert to start. It was their first concert experience and they loved it. Because we'd been to some of his other concerts he remembered us and talked to the kids, posed for pictures (which I can't seem to find on my phone) and played really great music for a couple of hours. We had used one of his songs "Step By Step" at our wedding because it's about becoming a family so hearing it live in the concert was amazing.

The whole weekend was so much fun and reminded me how much I love traveling and making new memories. Everything was perfectly planned because I'm awesome like that; I just love planning trips.

And then there's this past weekend - epic fail.

I had planned on us attending an outdoor flea market that a new shop in town was holding but Chris forgot (probably never listened in the first place) and planned some work things after basketball without my knowledge that he needed my help with. I watched the time go by and finally said I was going to the flea market by myself but by the time I made it there they had already closed and I was left feeling, once again, like my wishes are the lowest priority and that's not a pleasant feeling. Then, because of circumstances out of his control, Chris had to spend all of Sunday hanging around the house waiting for a repair person so we couldn't even do anything together that day either. And I know it sounds like I'm whining but I'm just so tired of coming in last when it comes to the things I want to do. It was that way all during the Christmas season - I had several events I wanted us to attend and we went to none of them because it just wasn't important enough to anybody but me.

I don't really know what to do except just start expecting to do things on my own. I've already put down a few things in my own personal calendar for the next few months and I'm going to make myself a priority even if nobody else does. Life is too short to waste time waiting for somebody else to put you first. Time to take care of me.