I had to take a little break from writing because I was having trouble maintaining a sunny outlook. They say there are 5 stages of grief:
1. Denial & Isolation
I've not really experienced bargaining (what the heck would I bargain for, it's not like the situation is going to change.) but I think I'm going through numbers 1, 2 and 4 simultaneously. Or at least I bounce from one to the other on any given day.
I've truly never experienced anything like this. I've never been so sad for so long. I've lost dogs before and I've lost people that I loved dearly before and yet this experience is knocking all the wind out of my sails like NEVER before. Not that you'd know if you saw me in person, I'm good at hiding my feelings. My own mother hasn't even noticed that anything is wrong with me...but maybe that's not the best example. ;-)
It's been almost 2 months now and last week I really believed I was sailing into the harbor of acceptance. I finally stopped crying every single day and I was starting to look forward to future plans. I suppose it helped a lot that another situation in our lives looked like it was finally going to change. This week, however, the situation still hasn't been resolved and I'm slipping back out to sea.
I think I'll stop wallowing, however, and not post about it anymore. I'm usually a stiff upper lip sort, not the kind to moan to others about my difficulties and I find I'm annoying even myself. I wouldn't want to do that to