skint list

For the first 20-ish years of our marriage I didn't have to worry (too much) about money. Of course we weren't rich but we had more than enough to meet our daily needs and some savings so I could pretty much buy whatever I wanted.

Luckily for Taz's peace of mind, I've never had expensive tastes nor the need to acquire things so I never took advantage of this...mostly.

But the last 10 years were a different story, our pockets were often empty and extra spending was kept to a bare minimum so that we could keep the lights on and eat at least once every day.

While I may not have been much of a spender when I could have been, my wants grew wild when I knew I couldn't satisfy them. Suddenly every catalog or magazine contained things that were so pretty they made my heart ache, things I really didn't want to live without but somehow had to.

To keep all this in check I developed the "skint list" which was something I kept on the computer where I could keep track everything that I desperately wanted so that one day, when things got better, I could get it.

I would put everything on there from restaurants we wanted to try to trips we needed to take to clothes, furniture and kitchen items that I knew would enrich my life if only I had them. The list kept me from going crazy and somehow, by putting it out there in black and white, I didn't need to obsess over it and usually completely forgot about it.

Here and there over those 10 years we had pockets of time when things weren't so bad and I would be able to buy one or two things from the list. When I would suddenly be able to buy, I would go to the list and often discovered that it contained a lot of things I didn't really want anymore. I think, often, the act of acknowledging I wanted it and putting it on the list was all I really needed. I should add that I also put things on the list that I wanted Taz to have and I ALWAYS made sure those things happened even if he would have said he didn't need it any longer. The only thing I was never able to do for him was a trip to Monument Valley, his childhood dream, which was planned for spring 2019. I'm still quite bummed that I wasn't able to fulfill that dream of his.

So here I am in 2020 and things are dire once again economically and pretty much in every other way (for the whole world this time, not just me) and I'm finding that there are so many things that I want, either to do or to have once life gets a little more normal, so I've decided to revive the skint list just for myself. I'm going to use it as a motivation tool to go after what I really want and stop wasting time.

Please note how perfectly centered the picture is, I'm very proud of myself especially since I just eyeballed it.

Number one on my skint list is to find a way to return to Carmel. This is represented by my lovely painting of the The Tuck Box, my favorite restaurant anywhere in the world, which I hung today right under my DREAM letters.

Those DREAM letters came straight off a previous skint list. When we first moved here to Florida in 2016 we were as broke as broke could be. Neither of us had jobs, we had spent our last $ shipping a couple of boxes here with us but we were blessed in that we had a place to live because we'd owned this house for 16 years so at least we had a bed to lay our heads. I saw these letters in Target, they were from my favorite brand, Shabby Chic. As soon as Taz and I both had jobs and we had more than a couple of nickels to rub together, I bought them (luckily they had gone on sale by then!) and Taz put them up in our bedroom. I thought it was important that we remembered to keep dreaming.

Today I decided to hang a special painting on that wall. That painting means the world to me for several reasons. First of all it's of The Tuck Box which is my favorite place in the world. It's located on Dolores St. in Carmel and it's the first place I ever saw in Carmel when we visited in 1994. It looks like it's right out of a fairytale. Later I started researching the man who designed and built it in 1927 - Hugh Comstock - and telling his story to the world is kind of an obsession with me.

When we decided to move to Florida the first time, in 2006, we were moving because it's something Taz wanted to do. I was kind of bummed about leaving behind my beloved Carmel and so, as a surprise to me, Taz bought this painting and hid it in our moving truck. We did a UPack move which meant we loaded and unloaded the truck (a professional drove it) without any help. After our first sweaty, hard day of unloading the truck in Florida Taz said we could knock off for the day and I was more than ready. Then he said he forgot one thing and went rummaging around the truck. I was a little pissed, to tell you the truth, because I wanted to sit down. Then he came out of the back end of the truck holding a package and said it was for me. It was this beautiful painting of a place I loved and I just burst into tears...which probably wasn't exactly the reaction he was expecting. But I was overwhelmed with how much this man loved me and knew me so well. He knew I was missing Carmel and knew that this painting would mean so much to me and sustain me until I could get back there again. He had snuck into Carmel one afternoon and bought it from the cute little gift shop right in back of the Tuck Box and never even told me because he wanted it to be a surprise on our first day. He wasn't often romantic but sometimes he knew exactly the right thing to do. I'm not sure anything has ever meant more to me than this painting.

So this painting has been featured in our living room for the last 14 years but today I decided to bring it into my room (mostly because I didn't want anything to happen to it) and decided to hang it where I can see it every evening as I sit on my couch and sleep under it every night, because it represents the most important thing on my new skint list - to get back to Carmel.

First and foremost I want to make a visit back there. My little sister and I were supposed to go there the first week in May but, of course, that's not happening with all the virus crap going on. So I want to make it there as soon as it's safe to go. I'm just hoping my beloved Tuck Box will still be in business when this is all over with. I can't even contemplate anything different. I want to run to California and give it all a big hug. I will enjoy introducing my sister to this place I love so much. She has never been to California, never even been on a plane!

But beyond that, I think I want to find a way to live in Carmel (or the surrounding area) again. I don't know how but somehow I'm going to make that dream happen. At the very least I want to end up there even if I have to make a couple of interim moves (like maybe Virginia?) in the meantime. No matter what, I want to visit there at least once a year.

That's my big, long-term item, then my skint list is going to be filled with little things that would make me happy right now. I'd like to have more aprons. I love vintage designs, florals and ruffles. I enjoy wearing aprons when I cook, makes me feel very girly.

Which brings me to something else on my list - I want to start cooking again. I've always had this idea to make dishes from regional local cookbooks and blog about them, so first I need to collect some cookbooks from local antique places and then I need to cook. I have a couple of things I'd like to get for the kitchen. So much of my stuff here in Florida was old or it was Taz's so I'd like a few cute things for me like a Le Creuset  enamel covered cast iron dutch oven. Williams Sonoma has beautiful ones in Rose. I wouldn't have ever gotten Rose when it was Taz's kitchen but... We did have a Le Creuset that I loved (even though I was not fond of the color - orange - but Taz picked it out) but it's in that damned storage unit in California so I need a new one. Sur La Table, our favorite kitchen store in California, has an exclusive color called Provence which is an ombre purple/lavender so I'm adding a couple of the tiny Le Creuset in that color to my skint list too. Oh and I desperately want a Kitchen Aid stand mixer in a cool color like pink or turquoise or copper. I had a stand mixer but it's lost to me now and I really miss it. I would have shipped it here in 2016 but it was too heavy and would have cost too much to ship.

To round out the lovely pastel goodness that will be going on in my kitchen, I want to collect something called jadeite. It's a beautiful mint green milk glass that was used for all kinds of kitchenware and was very popular in the '30s and '40s; I've always loved it but never had any pieces. So, when things loosen up a little, I'm going to start a small collection because I like to look at pretty things. Speaking of pretty things, I want to collect some Fiestaware plates and bowls in my favorite pastels, not a lot but enough to enjoy at mealtime. I know I'm sounding like a broken record but Taz and I had some lovely Fiesta-style Disney plates that we loved so much we bought 2 sets. They were our main dinner plates but also looked so pretty on the table when we had company. I can't buy them again because they've been long discontinued but at least current Fiestaware would be reminiscent of them. Uh-oh, I just went on Ebay and found 4 dishes and a bowl in the Mickey pattern we used to have and they are PINK! I don't even remember it coming in a pink color. Well crap, I'm afraid to put it on the skint list because it might not be available by the time I can purchase them. If only my damned stimulus check would show up...who needs food or electricity anyway? LOL

You're probably wondering where I'm going to display all of this loveliness - I'm going to reclaim a corner of my kitchen for me and put up some shelves so all of these pretty things can be displayed out in the open. Yes, you read that right. *I'm* going to put up shelves. I can be very handy when I want to. Not that I've ever actually put up shelves all by myself but I have a cordless drill and I'm not afraid to use it.

Ok, I'm a little afraid of it but I'll get over it. ;-)

For right now, that's all I can really think of. I don't need a bunch of things, I just want a few distractions, a few pretties and a plan for the future.

I think it's important to keep our dreams alive in this time of uncertainty.