trouble trouble trouble

Sometimes past issues stand in the way of happiness. Issues not dealt with become roadblocks even when we don't realize it.

There is no denying that everywhere I look lately I see people around me experiencing troubles. One friend just lost her beloved dog who was her constant companion for over 10 years whom she looked upon as a son. Another friend recently lost her 18 month old daughter to an unexpected heart condition and her grief and guilt are heartbreaking. Another friend was recently diagnosed with an unusual lung condition which requires her to get a lung transplant but she's also planning for what might happen if she doesn't get it in time. It's chilling to watch her "pin" items about DNRs and living wills to her Pinterest board and know that her biggest concern in all of this is how it's going to affect her 10 year old daughter.

I know several people dealing with the death of a spouse, a process that's longer than you would imagine and seems to pull you back into despair just when you think you've finally stepped into the sunlight.

When I compare my life to theirs, I know that whatever issues I'm facing aren't nearly as severe which sometimes makes me feel guilty about complaining or feeling frustrated and angry about things that might be happening to me. So clearly I should just suck it up, paste on a happy face and always look on the bright side of things, right?

I don't think so.

I certainly don't want to be one of those people who is always negative about life (I've seen how that can waste a life) but I don't want to ignore my own issues either just because somebody else might have it worse. I don't see how either of those options is healthy.

Life is often sweet and it's always fun to throw some spice in but each life has its share of bitterness and sorrow and that has to be acknowledged and honored not just swept under the rug or ignored.

I'm pretty sure the key to life is balance. Grieve for the losses, experience that fully and don't repress it but make sure you don't dwell on it to the exclusion of everything else. Don't listen to people who try to make you feel guilty for feeling sad or angry, no one has the right to minimize your feelings just because it makes them feel uncomfortable but be open to wise counsel whenever you hear it. You'll know if someone is truly interested in helping you or if they are just trying to control you. Even people who love you resort to control if they think it'll make their life easier.

And when it all gets to be too much, take a vacation even it's just a mental one.  Read a good book, sit in your car and cry, take the dog for a walk. Above all - be kind to yourself, your happiness depends on it.