holidays

This definitely wasn't my favorite Easter of all time. In fact, it sucked. I have a feeling all my holidays are going to suck from now on.

I had originally planned on taking Charlie and myself out of town for the holiday weekend. Not only was it Easter but the day before was an anniversary for Mr. T and me. But my plans changed and I was in town. I probably won't make that mistake again, from now on I will try to find a way to remove myself from reality on all birthdays, anniversaries, and holidays.

Not only does it hurt to remember how we used to celebrate and know that it will never be that way again, it also makes me sad to be completely alone. I don't want to feel bad when I see people post pictures of their family celebrations but I'm afraid I do. It would be better for me to remove myself from the situation. 

I did make the 40 mile (each way) trip to visit my mother on Easter morning but she is declining mentally and didn't even realize it was Easter at first. She thought it had happened the day before. She wasn't in the mood to have company so, after going out to buy her some supplies, I left her to go back to sleep. I know it makes me a horrible daughter (don't judge, nobody knows what I've been through with that woman) but I wish I hadn't wasted the money on gas for the 80 mile trip.

After reading outside and watching more TV than I should, I finally decided to treat myself to a meal out at Cracker Barrel. I waited until 3 in the afternoon so that it wouldn't be too crowded and I wouldn't feel like such a loser sitting there all by myself on a holiday.

I ordered a LOT of food, probably because I was feeling just a teeny bit sorry for myself. LOL But, I assure you that most of it went home in a takeout box. I really only ate the eggs, a little bacon and the apples. I figure the pancakes, hashbrown casserole (loaded!) and the rest of the bacon will make at least 2 or 3 more meals so that's less groceries that I need to buy this week. I'm glad they were open on Easter. I would have loved to have gone to Cracker Barrel for dinner when I was all alone on Christmas but they were closed. It was never Mr. T's favorite restaurant but I love the whole comfort food aspect of it. It's like a big food hug when you're feeling down. Wherever I take myself next month for Mr. T's birthday, I hope there's a Cracker Barrel. Although I imagine he would prefer sushi as a tribute on his birthday.

 Here's a favorite Easter-ish memory - a visit to Asilomar, our favorite place in California - was always a treat. We first discovered it the weekend before Easter in 2014 and went back to spend a wonderful Easter Sunday there the next weekend. We had no money so Mr. T packed a lunch for us and we spent the day on their amazing back deck just reading our Kindles and enjoying the view. It was like taking a vacation just 15 minutes from home. It was a tradition we kept up whenever we needed a break from prosaic reality. In the picture above we are visiting near Easter (don't you love Charlie's bunny ears) without knowing, at the time, that a little over a month later we were going to move away to Florida.

Not the best pictures but that's Shifu and me (and Mr. T too) enjoying the beautiful view at Asilomar on that first Easter in 2014. Such precious memories.

I fear this has been rather more rambling than usual and not the least bit funny. I used to be funny but I don't seem to have the knack anymore. I think the holiday kicked my butt. I'll try to do better next time.