Day Two

Day 2 is in the bag - the first weekend of isolation is over and it's back to work tomorrow.

Today wasn't as much fun as yesterday, no swimming, but overall it wasn't a bad day.

I finished putting up pictures in my bathroom and above my couch. The pictures in the bathroom are Taz's pictures that he had up in his office. Each one is a special memory of a trip or an outing. I love being surrounded by them.

I also put up a board with favorite pictures of Taz and my sister along with the last email Taz ever sent me.

After putting up the pictures I cleaned out some drawers and started on my side of the closet. I found a bunch of things that I'm never going to need again.

I really don't like going through drawers, I'm always running across things that make me sad.

So I made myself some cheese fries out of the leftovers from last night's dinner and settled in to spend the rest of the day watching Hallmark movies because I needed a few happy endings.

The truth is, this isolation thing isn't all that different from my normal routines. The only real difference between now and most of last year is that I spend time in my room rather than the living room. That kind of makes me sad but it's just the way it is.

I finished out the day by watching the last Hobbit movie with the roomies. They had watched the other two earlier in the week, always watching in their TV room which doesn't have room for me and, quite frankly, I've never been invited in there. But today, after taking my shower, I came out of my room to find them all watching tonight's movie in the living room so I decided to join them - the kids seemed pretty happy about that. It was nice but it's not my life. I want my own life, not to always be trying to twist myself in knots to fit into theirs. I can't explain it correctly, I just know that I can't let myself get absorbed into the way they do things, I have to keep living the life that *I* want to live, on my own terms.

Quite frankly, going back to work will be a relief.