next chapter?

So that was me on Saturday night getting ready to head to yet another group meetup thing. I was feeling really good about this one. It wasn't some random group, it was a Facebook group for people with annual passes and I've posted there some, that's even how I met Joe. Many people know my situation and have said nice things in the past.

I walked over to the venue with lots of confidence, I was really rocking my new hat and my hair was behaving. I joined the group out front, I recognized a couple of them, but no one even looked in my direction. Everyone was talking to the person they came with, there were no other single riders hanging about on the fringes, just me. After 15 minutes I just had enough so I walked away and that was the end of that.

The good news is that I didn't cry, I wasn't even that all upset. Maybe new friends are overrated. I think I'm done trying. I know I've said that before; I think I mean it this time.

The rest of the weekend was amazing. A friend was in town with her 4 kids and we spent each day together. One night we all went to Universal for a special, private-ish event. That was such a fun way to see that park, we walked on all the rides, had free food and drink and walked until I was pretty sure my feet were going to fall off. I would do that event again in a heartbeat.

The rest of the weekend included swimming (well, watching the kids swim, too chilly for me), a bbq, shopping, eating out and a movie night - my kind of weekend. It was good to be with friends. I spent so much time away from my house that I felt guilty about leaving Charlie so I made sure she got to come to movie night.

I've been frustrated about being in this limbo period but I think I'm going to use this time to make plans for my next chapter. Maybe I'll be alone for the rest of my life. It's not what I want but if that's the way it is then I'm going to be the most badass solitary person you've ever seen and I'm going to start now and just see where the wind takes me.