cracked

I desperately wanted to get on here and say that the banking issue that's holding up the Medicaid approval has been fixed...but I can't.

Remember I had a 2.5 hour appointment on Monday at which time I thought we'd been given the go ahead by the bank's legal department and it was just a computer glitch holding things up now. I was assured that I could come back on Thursday and we'd breeze right through it.

Ha.

I got to the bank 10 minutes ahead of my appointment and was ushered right in only to find out that the legal department hadn't signed off on it after all and that they still needed one more document - a document that I gave to the bank associate on Monday and I thought she had submitted it to them. I can't figure out why she didn't because it's an important piece of the puzzle and half of the reason I was in the bank in the first place but I had to give it to her again so that she could make a copy. And now she'll submit it to legal and open up a whole new claim and maybe they'll get back to her in the next few days and maybe we'll be good to go ahead and change things...maybe.

I am so frustrated, I took time off work AGAIN to go there today, got Charlie all up in her bag, put on a mask and it was all wasted because somebody didn't do her job the first time.

See that line going across the windshield (and yes, that's my car and Charlie in the reflection)? That's the big ass crack that happened this morning because a rock flew off the truck in front of me on the highway and hit my windshield. I watched that crack get bigger and bigger all the way to work. That's the first time that's ever happened to me in all my years of driving. 

It's kind of how I feel about life right now, I was going along, minding my own business when WHAM, out of nowhere a rock comes and changes things forever. I can still drive (function) but things aren't the same and they could get worse or it could just leave a permanent scar and distort my visibility.

With the car I can call my insurance and they'll send someone out to fix it or replace the windshield entirely...who do I call to get my life replaced?

Today is my 2 year anniversary at work, not that anybody except me remembers. Tomorrow is the year and a half anniversary of the last time I ever talked to Taz and nobody but me remembers that either. Such a happy anniversary and such a sad one right next to each other.

And next week is Taz's birthday and I just finalized plans to take care of myself on that day. I am not going to spend a moment of that day in my house of horrors where I might as well be invisible. Nope, not going to do it. While I would love for someone to knock on my door and sweep me away for some fun and love, that's not going to happen so I'm doing it myself. I'm so glad I have me.