dating

Adventures with dating continue!

Rather than let myself get discouraged I decided to get back on the horse and see if there were any new people to meet. Or maybe I was just sitting around bored on a Monday night.

So I got back on the app and this time I "liked" a few guys who hadn't "liked" me first just to see what would happen. Out of 8 that I clicked on, 6 have clicked back and now we're a "match." 

It's mostly been highly amusing. There's the guy that texts "good morning beautiful" every morning even though I never respond. I wonder how many girls he's texting that to?

There's the one whose first message was "Good morning, ready for road trips near and far, grab passport and tooth brush lol"  and that was it. Yeah, kind of a hard no on that. I don't run off with people I know nothing about...and I need way more than a toothbrush. LOL But seriously, I prefer people that don't use cheesy opening lines but rather share a bit more about themselves.

There was this one who sent a nice message that made me want to explore further. So we did and we texted pretty much non stop for 2 days. It wasn't just me, he was right there keeping the conversation going. I am not one of those girls who keeps bugging people if I don't hear back from them. He texted me to say good morning and I love that. So we finally decided to do a video thing yesterday so that we could see each other. We had a really nice conversation, I thought, but I'm coming to realize that I must be one of those people who are cooler online than in person because after that conversation (which he ended by saying "we should do this again sometime" which is the kiss of death) I haven't heard much from him. He was nice enough to text and wish me well on a work thing I'd told him about and when I responded to that he texted back to say he was out with friends for the evening. And since then it's been crickets, no good night text, no good morning text. 

And since this is the 2nd time someone has lost interest when they "met" me in person after some great texting, I guess it really *is* me. Now the first time it was totally mutual, I wanted nothing to do with the first guy after seeing him "in person" as well but this time, I really liked this guy and this one actually hurts. But only a little.

I've always known I wasn't a girl that made guys go wow at first glance. But if someone got to know me, I used to have pretty good luck at second glance. But that's when I was younger, maybe I'm just too old now. That's a depressing thought, nothing I can do about that.

Maybe I'll finally respond to the "good morning beautiful" guy.

I don't think any of this has been good for my self confidence so I'll just stop now. I've got Charlie. Who needs a man? I certainly don't need all the hand holding, cuddles and kisses in dark corners that I was being offered, right? 

I really wish I hadn't opened the door and let myself go there in my head, it makes it that much harder to get through my dismal reality day after day. I can't even hope to meet someone the old fashioned way right now so I guess I just have to be patient. 

I hate being patient.

I recently told a friend (who is best friends with my roommate and also seems overly invested in making sure I follow all the quarantine rules) that I'm not getting any younger. She responded by saying that none of us are. So she just doesn't get it. All of them are quarantining with their loved ones. They have husbands and children who love them. They get kisses and cuddles and someone to talk to. I don't. I get up in the morning and drive to my office where I spend all day by myself. I drive home and get 5 minutes of interaction with the kids before they all head off to their cave for an evening of movies as a family while I go eat dinner in my room and wait until it's finally time to go to bed and feel like life is just passing me by. So them not getting any younger is TOTALLY different than the situation I'm in and nobody seems to understand that. So I was trying to have somebody of my own and it bombed.

Oh well, tomorrow is Saturday so I have a whole weekend of doing nothing by myself to look forward to. Can't wait to get started.

Maybe I'll take another look at toothbrush guy...