moments

I didn't run away this weekend, I stayed home each of the 3 evenings although I did keep myself busy during the day. Was it perfect? No. But there were moments in each of the days of the weekend that were special and that's what I'm going to focus on.

Friday night there were still stupid gamer videos to watch (I'm just never going to enjoy that) so I brought out my laptop and streamed something for me to watch. Eventually I ended up with all 3 kids (and Charlie) on my small loveseat watching the Kids Baking Championship. They were so fascinated by it that we ended up watching it again Saturday morning.

And that's a funny story. So the first weekend we were all living together I got up to take Charlie out at 6, our normal weekday time. I have a door out to the pool deck in my room so we can sneak out without waking up the whole house. Then we came back in and I went back to bed until 8-ish, a little earlier. I got up then and fed Charlie. All the kids were up so after feeding and walking Charlie we all ended up outside and I spent my morning keeping them out of the pool, organizing breakfast, keeping them from fighting, until their parents got up after 9. This happened both last Saturday and Sunday. 

So this weekend I decided to stay in my room even longer. It was nice, I made hot cocoa and enjoyed a little quiet time on the computer. Shortly after 9 I walked out of the room to find all the kids but no parents. We did the Charlie routine and then they begged to watch more of the baking show so that's where their parents found us when they finally emerged from their room...after 10. 

So Sunday I stayed in my room until 10 which did not please Charlie at all because that meant she was getting fed really late but at least my plan worked because there was a parent up fixing breakfast for all the kids. I was already dressed and ready for the day so as soon as I took care of Charlie, I was off.

I made sure I had plenty of things to do on Saturday and Sunday that kept me out of the house. I can handle weekends but I don't want to spend all of our time together even though I think the kids would enjoy it.

Saturday I had plans with my friend at our local tea room. It's been our special place ever since we celebrated my (belated) birthday there early last year. We had plans to celebrate on my actual birthday in 2018 but I was at the hospital making horrible decisions about Taz that day so we waited a couple of months. I'm not sure I felt like celebrating on that day either, it's all a bit of a blur to me, but I remember it being warm and cozy in the tearoom and I appreciated that my friend wanted to help make things better. This year it was just a lovely time; I enjoy that tearoom very much.

I know lots of people make jokes about avocado toast being a silly millennial or hipster thing but I've always liked it and this was one of the best I've had. It kept me full until dinner time.

As I left for my brunch on Saturday morning I was asked if I would be able to help pick the oldest up from a birthday party and then we could all go eat something on Disney property. Since I didn't have any social outing scheduled for later in the afternoon or evening, I agreed. I don't know what they would have done if I *had* had something scheduled and I hate to think I would have canceled something I wanted to do but I'm a people pleaser so it's entirely possible I would have. 

We ended up hanging out at Port Orleans because they have a nice arcade. But that's also the hotel where Taz and I had planned an anniversary celebration for February 2019 that we never got to have and it's the hotel where we spent our last Saturday together, hanging out in the gazebo (I love gazebos, they are so romantic) planning that celebration and dreaming about the fun we would have. Saturday night was my first time back there and it was so hard and painful, especially when I saw the gazebo and imagined hanging out there with him. I didn't want to cry in front of the kids but it was so hard to hide the tears and concentrate on what they were saying.

It's also the hotel where we took a carriage ride on Valentine's Day 2011 and he re-proposed to me. Yeah, being back there was hard.

So Sunday morning I decided to escape for some quality me time at Epcot and enjoy the Festival of the Arts and all the food. 

I left the house just as soon as I took care of Charlie because my transportation skills were required again that afternoon so I didn't have unlimited time to have fun. To save time I decided to not take any purse and stuff everything I needed for the morning in my pockets so that I could skip the bag check line. That was an awesome decision, it made getting into the park so much easier and less stressful.

There's an art festival going on through February and I'd read about a special offering at the funnel cake stand - a peanut butter and jelly funnel cake sandwich so that was the first place I headed. Believe me when I tell you it was awesome. It's peanut butter ice cream between 2 funnel cakes, drizzled with raspberry glaze. Yumola!

All of the art is Disney related so if you're not a big Disney fan it wouldn't appeal. There isn't anything that I would want to buy or display in my house but it's fun to look at.

It's really the food booths that appeal to me. This is the sushi donut from Japan which was delicious, especially the sauces. I got there early before the crowds had really started for the day so I had a big table all to myself. When Joe and I were there last Saturday night it was much more crowded and more difficult to find a place to eat.

Speaking of Joe, he injured his leg while training for next month's marathon so he's out of action as a Disney partner for awhile. I'm not sure he's all that interested anyway. I don't know, I find boys a huge mystery these days. I just know I'm not going to waste my time on anybody that doesn't have time for me. I may be lonely but I'm not stupid.

I got back from Epcot in time to pick my oldest god daughter up at Girl Scouts. She came out of the room and told us that she'd made necklaces for her mother, sister and me. She picked different charms for each of us and my necklace features a passport. It's so perfect, she totally gets my love of travel and I hope I am inspiring that same love in her as well. I think travel is so important and even if I can't do it right now, I will always keep my passport updated to be ready for adventure.

Speaking of adventure, last night we watched a DVD I'd gotten at the library about Amelia Earhart, one of my favorite historical adventurers. The younger 2 kids got a little bored...except for the part where Amelia was  having an affair. Somehow they were paying quite close attention then - "who is that man in bed with Amelia? That doesn't look like her husband. Why is her husband so upset? Why is she kissing that other man?" LOL

My oldest god daughter was very interested in the movie and we were all left hanging at the end. I mean, no spoilers, we all knew what happened to her but you're left feeling unsettled with so many questions.

Which reminds me of how I feel anytime a young-ish person's life ends. Why? Why weren't they given more time? That's certainly how I felt when hearing the news about Kobe Bryant yesterday. It just reminds me that life is temporary, everything can change in an instant. It leaves me determined not to waste time, to grab all the happiness I can. I hold on to the precious moments, I let the bad ones go (most of the time) and I renew my search to find someone to share all of it with. No more wasting time on the idiots who just don't get it or me.