the move begins

That was me last night right before I joined my new family at the movies. We watched Rise of Skywalker and it was a lovely evening which was nice because it was probably the last normal evening for awhile.

The move is about to begin. Tonight I spent a few hours finishing up the 3 rooms, taking care of all the little things that were left like unplugging all the electronic cables from the walls, figuring out what to do with the little piles here and there of things I couldn't figure out what to do with earlier which is why they ended up in little piles.

This was Taz's office. I can't get the white board off the wall so hopefully somebody can because it's going to be someone's bedroom and they probably don't want a white board.

This was how he decorated his office, it tells his story from the TinTin books he loved to the tennis that was his teenage passion to the fishing poles that kept us company every Friday in California when he was unemployed and we'd go to Pismo Beach and fish off the pier just to take our minds off our troubles. All these things are actually still on the walls because they are too high up and ladders and I don't play well together so someone taller (and more coordinated) than me is going to have to take them down. Some of these pictures will go up on the walls of my bedroom while others will gather dust in the garage. I will definitely put up the "Let Us Always Be Adventurers" picture. I bought that for Taz for Valentines Day in 2015. It's a vintage map of Southeast Asia (where he was born) from an old National Geographic. Adventure was always our word and now it's mine.

This was my beautiful guest room. I loved having a house with a dedicated guest room and I loved having people come to visit us, especially my sister. 

The guest room as it was. Not the best picture but it's the only one I can find. I never thought about taking pictures of the room before I started taking it apart. I left it as is until the last possible minute because I kept hoping somebody would come visit for Christmas or New Years. That was stupid of me.

There's one more room that I've emptied but it's not quite camera ready yet. It was supposed to be my studio, my reading room, my special place but unfortunately it was mostly a storage area and it's proving to be the toughest one to completely empty. I worked in there after work today but eventually got overwhelmed so I will finish up tomorrow morning before work.

Because, tomorrow they are going to start moving small things over and Friday will be the big moving day with all the furniture. Luckily Charlie and I will be at work that day so by the time we get home, it should all be done.

That means tomorrow night will be my last night in the house alone. I'm finding it way more emotional than it probably should be. 

I kinda can't stop crying, I just feel overwhelmed and scared. I know this is the right thing to do but somehow, at least right now, it feels like I'm taking a giant step backwards in this whole adulting thing. How did I go from being a wife with my own home to having roommates and being so single it hurts? It's certainly not how I ever expected my life to go.

Oh well, it doesn't matter what I expected, it's how things are now. And I know I'll settle down and things will be better. Once the kids are here I won't dwell on all the things I've lost, all the ways my life is so different now. I never think about that when I'm with them. I will just enjoy spending so much time with people that I love.

So I'm glad the move is starting and let's just get this done so that I can begin living the rest of my life.

It's going to be ok.